Here are a selection of lecture excerpts about sexuality and sex in relation to Men, From the book Ancient Art of Self Healing which is a collection of excerpts from lectures, notes and classes by SSS Harbhajan Singh Khalsa (Yogi Bhajan)
There are 20,000 years of research into the subject of Humanalogy, and that is why the Scriptures advise men that they should never be harsh with a woman. He should never threaten her security, and he should not put her down socially, because the moment a man puts a woman down socially she will become emotionally insecure and she will get him. Also man should not criticize woman’s motherly nature — "you are not a good mother." It is like taking potassium cyanide through an enema, it is that dangerous. Rather, if you want to hook a friendship with her, just start loving her child; you’ll have her 2 times more than you think. To insult the motherhood in. A woman is just asking the cobra to sting you through the forehead.
The men who masturbate do not realize the physical difference between ejaculations. The difference is that ejaculation through masturbation pressurizes the gray matter. It is heavy on the brain. It creates more problems than any sexual activity. To be very frank with you, homosexual interplay is better than masturbation.
Masturbation causes a triple action on the pituitary gland which takes away your power to concentrate. Running is a good substitute for masturbation.
In masturbation the glandular system is over-pressurized. The nervous system is drained to death. It is a forced situation. But in intercourse, it is normal. In one masturbation, the pressure on your body is more than you can ever consider handling. But even when you ejaculate one time after the other in intercourse, there’s no pressure on the nervous system, and so that makes a lot of difference. In intercourse the woman’s energy is there, and that’s what intercourse is.
In masturbation, the woman’s energy is right there (in your mind), but you are doing it to yourself. It means you are forcing your system to go into a space where there is no orderliness. It is a solo, and it is a very painful solo. It’s not very normal.
Sometimes the atmosphere and the weather itself can trigger masturbation. You become sensual, sexual, you cannot find a partner and you end up masturbating. Fortunately, for women there is no such thing as masturbation so she has nothing to worry about (see Women’s chapter), but for men it is really a problem.
The most detrimental thing which can happen to you is when you indulge in a sexual relationship after you have eaten. After eating food, this heavy exercise in which you involve all your nerves, all your muscles, and all your mind, can ruin your stomach. If you do not listen to that warning and keep on doing it, ultimately you will end up having a quick discharge, a premature ejaculation. Pre-ejaculative people are what we call bananas. That is where the phrase "banana men" came from. Some people are so fast that they can’t even enter the woman before discharge. These are the people who have not given themselves a gap between their eating and their sexual desires, and that is why they develop this nonsense.
The tragedy of our life comes from the male. There are many, many males who when they feel horny and sexual, and the woman doesn’t respond, get angry and find different ways to show her how idiotic they are. Every woman knows it. She knows how idiotic you are. Normally, in a normalcy, certain things you must do: let the woman invoke the incentive of sensual wavelength, and let it mature. And, if you decide to sleep on two different beds, never go to the bed of the woman you love the most. Let her come to you.
Any man who is sexually weak before his woman is a nuisance to himself. Don’t forget either, that the sexual relationship, or what you call physical intercourse, is the practical end of one invoked incentive in relationship. It’s a cycle.
Horniness on the physical level is intercourse, but on a higher level it is creativity. An artists feel horny many, many times. Many times they feel very stiff in their male organs and then the stiffness is gone and they can’t sit still. They go out and paint a painting. In a couple of hours something comes out which they paint, that their forefathers can’t paint like that. So, it is the same, you must understand, it is the same energy. Use it this way, use it that way, use it up, use it down, it is the same energy. – Also see "Sat Kriya"
Unfortunately there are men who are just animals transferred immediately into the body of a man. The majority of the humans come from the animal nature and sometimes, after death, the transformation from animal to the human body takes such a short: interval that the animal nature can be seen and experienced through these people. Normally, the animal nature is more prevalent among men than among women because man is the first incarnation. It is very rare that in the transformation an animal will become a female, Therefore, you can deal with some men and right under their skin you’ll find a snake, a parrot, a duck, a swan, a deer, a horse, an idiot. Just try to look under, the skin and you can exactly, by characteristics, compare the notes and find what it is.
Garlic gives sexual energy which can be channeled into creativity.
If a person is not obnoxiously offended by garlic smell when he is socially entertaining, he is a man with a very high standard. Any man who is married, and who wants to remain married, and thinks it is a privilege to be married, should somehow eat 2 cloves of garlic daily. You can take it in a capsule or any other way; that doesn’t matter, it is what is required of the system. This bad smell or odd smell, whatever you want to call the garlic smell, is very, very good for your insides because it counteracts the inside smells.
For those people versed in Kundalini Yoga, there is a good exercise to do a few hours after eating several cloves of garlic: Bring the legs to a 60 degree angle. Apply neck lock and do breath of fire for 1 1/2 to 3 minutes, then inhale, exhale and apply Mulbhand. Repeat. – Also see "Sat Kriya"
There are 2 kinds of ejaculations: one in the sex organs and one in the mind. There are several forms of Ejaculations in the mind. Have you heard sometime of somebody who had a dream in which he had intercourse and had done a great thing? He was thinking, he has had a wet dream. He gets up and it is not real. Do you know that experience? Then there is an experience in meditation… you feel exactly as if you were ejaculating with that girl you love the most, and the whole thing is just a "feeling" you get when you are meditating. That feeling is at the third eye, exactly that feeling. And there is a third form in which you feel from the spine.
Something going up, rising like the mercury in a thermometer. It is a sensation like an electrical current going up your spine. It goes up, and then at the third eye you feel something going around, and around, and around, and then comes down like a rain.
Let us complete the picture. When you are having physical intercourse, and the love game is perfectly divine, she totally merges in you, and she is totally supportive of you, and she is playing the game, and you are ejaculating, and 2 ejaculations are happening. One will be in the lower area of your male organ, and the other will be in your head. If ever that should happen to you, one symptom and sign of it is that you will be aware of what is happening in the universe and universes beyond, but you won’t move physically. This can only happen if the woman is perfectly into her entanglement with y ou, is 100% supportive, 100% projective, 100% cooperating, and 100% your mate. You are mating with your mate, and the meeting is very, very, very, very meditative.
For men to retain their sexuality for a longer time, yogic science advises that during urination they stop the flow of urine 5 or more times to build those muscles. (This also helps prevent kidney stones)
When you are tired, one thing as a man you must declare, "I am tired. And I need a truce." A man who is shy to declare he is tired is asking for trouble. "Come, trouble, come," that is the mantra. It is ridiculous if you are tired, and you need rest. If you need rest and you are not getting rest, you are going to rust. You can get a lot of sympathy, a lot of feeling from the other side if you say, "I am very tired, I need rest and you will be a help to let me rest." What we are saying is that some people become very sensual and sexual when they are tired, and they do intercourse. That is very sickening because that causes a lot of serious diseases, even blood diseases, which come only when you are tired and indulge in sex and don’t take a rest.
Some of these do’s and don’ts are MEN – explained in the scriptures. It is written that you must not have relations with a woman if you have eaten within the time range of 2 or 3 hours. If you have food in your stomach, if you have eaten, the game of love is out. Game of food is in.
Food is in, love is out. Remember this, otherwise, you will invite many diseases. On the other hand, it is also very undesirable to indulge into a sexual relationship when you are very ‘hungry, or when you are under the pressure of time. In the Western world it is called "quick meal", which is nothing but a nerve exploitation.
There are two things you must not do. You must not meditate when you have eaten, and you must not have sexual relationships when you have eaten.
Otherwise, it will not make a saint out of you, but a piglet. It’s a very damaging thing. If you meditate with a full stomach, all of the blood, instead of going to the stomach to take care of the whole system, starts going through the serum to the brain. You are then causing an unnecessary problem. Simply, when you have taken food, everything should concentrate towards the stomach.
If you are ejaculating downstairs, you are just creating a problem. For a good sexual relationship, you must eat only light food after 4:00 pm