Righteous Sex

Righteous Sex

From the book Ancient Art of Self Healing which is a collection of excerpts from lectures, notes and classes by SSS Harbhajan Singh Khalsa (Yogi Bhajan)

(The following information is geared towards Men)

"Righteous sex is when you are sexually right.  Never indulge in sexual relationships with anybody for any reason other than to relate to the soul of the person.  Don’t make a mess out of that creative energy.  Eighty drops of pure blood makes one drop of semen. Eighty drops of pure semen make one ejaculated drop.  If it leaves your head, mentally after that moment you are gone.  If it leaves your backbone and lower back, that is, if it works from your thighs, it means your calcium, potassium and magnesium are lost.  Each drop of the ejaculated semen contains all the vitamins, all the basic metals, and the basic fiber which is used for everything in the body.  It is a very pretty, precious thing.  If you take an average of $3.00 a meal, one ejaculation costs you $150.00 in food alone.  Be sexual; we don’t mind; you can play with it as much as you like.  But when you are 65, you will think about it and there will be nothing.  The bottle will be empty and you can only then blow the whistle.

Sex is a wonderful thing. Attachment to it is just a trap out of which you never come out.  It makes you worse than an animal.  An animal is done when the spring season is there, new blood is there, energy is there.  You have a spring even in the winter, When you have sex as a release, when you have sex as a communication, when you use sex for any other purpose than sex, you have lost yourself, period.  Now think about your mind, and what you want to do.  Sex is your sixth sense.

You must understand that when you indulge in sex, you just join your bodies together.  Your aura integrates with the aura of the other person.  Positivity of sexual relationship is a gift of God, and other than that it is a hell.

Some people have had sex with an older woman; some people have had sex with women of negative characteristics. That is one point of life when you are totally exposed.  All your gates (chakras) can be damaged, nothing can be left in you."

25 Responses to “Righteous Sex”

  1. gupt kaur says:

    interesting that there’s no mention of rehat maryada, or the fact that for sikhs (this is a sikh blog, right?) sex outside of marriage is a cardinal sin.

  2. Gupt Kaur, Most of these lectures/classes were not in the context of Sikhi specifically so they are not oriented in that way. The participants in the classes were not necessarily even Sikhs. Aside from teaching about Sikhi (generally in Gurdwara) Yogi Bhajan taught regular classes on spirituality in general, meditation, yoga, health, lifestyle and just about every area of life as a human (which he termed “Humanology”).

    I always cringe at terms like “cardinal sin” which is a total Christian term and as far as “sin” in the Christian sense, it has a whole different connotation then for what you mean in relation to Sikhs. Guilt in Sin don’t compute to me as a Sikh, but I do agree with you in regards to your point of how Sikhs don’t have sexual relations outside of marriage.

    Here is a video on the topic of “Sin, guilt, heaven and hell” – http://www.mrsikhnet.com/index.php/2008/04/09/sin-guilt-heaven-and-hell/

  3. gupt kaur says:

    apologies on use of the word sin, i was looking for an equivalent expression to “bujjar kurehet”, knowing that it’s a term only Sikhs will recognize.

    on your “about” you say that this blog shows the world how we live as Sikhs. perhaps you could add a preface to non-sikh articles like this one, so that people who are new to the faith don’t get terribly confused.

    just a thought. :)

  4. I’m not sure why you consider this article to be “non-sikh”. As Sikhs we are householders and the life of the family and relations is a very big part. Do you feel that something in this article is contrary to Sikh practices? I post anything on this blog that I think is interesting and that I feel is in line with my beliefs. It’s a medley of things. This particular article relates to men and understanding how sexual intercourse can effect yourself and others. I think it is very valid and helps a man to value this merging of two souls (which nowadays has been reduced to animal urges)

    Also, if you notice most of the things I post here on MrSikhNet.com I don’t post on SikhNet. I have always looked at this blog as a window into the life of “western Sikhs” and information that many of us have grown up with. So, you’ll see a strong focus on the things that SSS Harbhjan Singh taught and a strong western cultural prospective.

    I understand that some of these topics might be awkward for some people, but they need to be discussed.

  5. Barinder says:

    I agree with you Gurumustuk Singh.

  6. karanvir says:

    Why does yogi bhajan say that,”Some people have had sex with an older woman,” it can damage you? negative characteristics i understand, but not the older women part.
    thanks

  7. Karanvir, the problem with transcripts from lectures is that things don’t always come out in textual form as you might understand when you hear it. Sometimes when talking he might start a sentence and abruptly switch to something else. Writing is very different from talking and so the real time flow can come out very differently when transcribed.

    I think the point of the sentence was that having sexual relations with another person who is very negative can be damaging since you are very exposed energetically. I don’t think he was saying that it is negative to have sexual relations with an older person.

    Hahaha… it seems like the topic of “sex” is one of those hush hush areas that we don’t really discuss. The problem is that western society which dominates now has such negative sexual base. Everything in the media is sexual and lost it’s purity. Women have been brought down to sex objects and the way that men relate to women is so dis-respectful.

  8. Kanwar Singh says:

    Interesting post. I would like to hear the audio version in it’s entirety if it’s available online……just in case this snipet leaves me “confused”…LOL.

    • These were compiled back in the 1970’s and 80’s so don’t know if audio recordings of exist. If they do it would be like finding a needle in a haystack. One day when all the lectures are digitized, transcribed and database searchable :)

  9. Gurjeet Singh says:

    Thank you for posting this article. These hush hush areas need to be not hush hush because as we just saw how defensive anyone (who is in such hush hush areas) can be. It is essential to discuss such areas. I don’t know why people forget that Sikhs are human beings. No questions that we do have a rehat but the basics that form the human body do not change, its the way we all think. The capability of thinking is purely individual, here in this lecture by SSS, he has expialined it so beautifully in a calm voice (I have a feeling), I don’t think is not related to Sikhs at all. Unfortunately, since my stay here in England I (originally from Bombay) have seen people so trapped back to their rural lifestyles that their minds are not very open to such areas. No wonder there is a friction when it comes to relating to anyone from such backgrounds because a conversation loses its lightness. There is nothing to be so upset about anything here, please try to take some positivity at least. Read it from a different perspective and relate to it so that you can eleminate your refenence criterion. Its a beautiful post provides me with so much knowledge. Would like to read the before and after of this lecture as well.

  10. Kamal Singh says:

    Vaheguru,

    I heard a recording of a discourse by Sant Singh Maskeen, which funnily enough we were discussing yesterday! He highlighted how discourses nowadays in Gurdwaras don’t discuss issues such as Lust, Caste, Race etc The reason behind this is that the preachers are afraid of losing their jobs and therefore choose topics which will not be frowned upon by everyday Punjabis.

    But with this attitude, he says, is a great danger. The danger is that there will be a lack of knowledge about issues that are definately going to effect us all. If a child goes into an exam without subject knowledge they will fail, if you apply for a driving test without any knowledge of driving you will fail. Same goes for lust. How are we going to deal with these everyday exams without the knowledge gained by doing discourse on what Guru Ji has taught us?

    Guru Ji does not shy away from these issues for the sake of some narrow minded individuals. Guru ji guides us like a Father sits down with his child and warns them about the dangers they will eventually face in life. If we sweep these issues under the carpet we will find ourselves more exposed to bujjer kurehits.

    Penji, I dont think this article is aimed at promoting free sex, rather it sheds light on the importance of sharing spirituality with your partner. Kaam is actually derived from the word Kaamna = Desire. This desire for sex by your senses guiding your mind is wrong. But if the mind is positive and your mind is in control of your senses, then sex is positive and helps you grow spiritually, with your partner.

    Bhul chuk maaf,
    Kamal Singh

  11. harjit singh says:

    scientifically this is incorrect 80 drops makes……………..testes are endocrine as well as exocrine glands, which makes sperm cells rest things are added by other glands like prostate glands, seminal vesicles etc. yes ejaculate contain everything needed for survival of cell that too in harsh environment of female genitilia. but there no definitive stock of sperms unlike females egg, man continuously can make sperms for whole life provided, his hormonal balance is well.
    satnam
    guru ka sikh

  12. pritam singh says:

    can some one tell me how can we control our lust being practical i try to control but after some time mind gets powerful an starts wandering

  13. Pritam Singh Khalsa says:

    Gurfateh,

    I feel this article is trying to put emphasis on having “fun” with sex. Sex is for procreation and Kashera technology is a personal topic about why we wear not only to not be yogi’s that run around naked but for other reasons as this sarcastic statement of “hush hush” context is trying to promote.

    We dont go have Sangat to talk about sex. Sex is a personal topic that if spoken like its fun and cool is where the mind can simply wander away from the body. Aura is an excuse to be able to speak on a forum style to Sikhs. This topic should be on a yoga website not a supposed “Sikh” website. If this is a nonSikh topic why post it here, if it is then tell me that within normal Sangat we talk of this topic as we are spiritual people yes we are householders but we dont go having fun with sex as this contacts the evils within the mind. Stimulating sexual conversations is where a Sikh goes off track. Yes the Gurus had children but they didnt go talking about it as being fun but saying being celibate is not productive as learning how to control this concept of creation within two humans.

    This qoute from SatGuru Granth Sahib is speaking of both having fun with sex and having sex with many or one other people not as in one context but as two forms of sexual coruption “Renounce sexual desire AND promiscuity, and give up emotional attachment. Only then shall you obtain the Immaculate Lord amidst the darkness of the world.” SGGS

    “Men and women are obsessed with sex; they do not know the Way of the Lord’s Name.” SGGS

    “False are sexual desire and wild anger.” SGGS

    “The jewel of the Lord’s Name shall come to dwell in your mind and body, when you renounce sexual desire, anger and greed, O my friend.” SGGS

    “Sexual desire and anger steal the wealth of the self within.” SGGS

    “Sexual desire and anger are the wounds of the soul.” SGGS

    “The mortal beings are held in the power of sexual desire, anger and emotional attachment; they have forgotten the Lord, the Immortal Form.” SGGS

    “They are destroyed by sexual desire, anger and egotism.” SGGS

    “The lover of women is obsessed with sex.” SGGS

    “Cursed is that comfortable bed which lures one into the darkness of attachment to sexual desire.” SGGS

    “When others die, you measure your own wealth in your mind; you waste your life in the pleasures of the mouth and sexual organs.” SGGS

    “Your eyes water, and your intellect and strength have left you; but still, your sexual desire churns and drives you on.” SGGS

    “Engrossed in Maya and sexual desire, the fool does not understand.” SGGS

    “Engrossed in the intoxication of sexual desire and anger, people wander through reincarnation over and over again.” SGGS

    “Those who are attuned to the Shabad are spotless and pure; they renounce sexual desire, anger, selfishness and conceit.” SGGS

    “You are overflowing with sexual desire, and your intellect is stained with darkness; you are held in the grip of Shakti’s power.” SGGS

    “Drunk with sexual desire and other great sins, you go astray, and do not distinguish between vice and virtue.” SGGS

    “Day and night, you are engrossed in sexual desire, O my merchant friend, and your consciousness is blind to the Naam.” SGGS

    “The body-village is filled to overflowing with anger and sexual desire; these were broken into bits when I met with the Holy Saint.” SGGS

    “Listen, listen, O soul-bride: you are overtaken by sexual desire-why do you walk like that, swinging your arms in joy?” SGGS

    I could go on and on with Gurbani telling men AND women that sex is a thing that should be set aside for procreation as it can ruin your mind. I hope just MAYBE people can understand that this article is only leading to the destruction of the mind of those people lured to the OK of sex being for pleasure etc.

    sex is not to be played around with. it need not be spoken in the Sadh Sangat

    Gurfateh

  14. Gurjeet Singh says:

    What a ‘list’ (excuse me saying that). Read it one by one. This is a misconception, a very weak example of picking up exerpts and finding statements that match one of the words that one has to express. The above mentioned statements are a way of notifying Sikhs to remember Lord in every practice. Having said that, you can’t just pick on one thing and cut and paste exerpts from Guru. One very good example is if one wears a gold ring then the one would check now and then if the ring is still there, remembering the ring at least ten times a day, so why not do sometihng righteous by remembering our Master ! its about righteous sex and not sex attain satisfaction or a quickie. Its about addressing to the Sangat its purpose and inspiration. Its certainly not to be played around with and thats what SSS is trying to say. And if it is not spoken in a righteous way then how would people know that it is not to be played around ? What is the people whom it is addressed to (as it was cleared that the ones who were listening to this lecture were not all Sikhs) but even if it would have been Sikhs then there is no harm. What if someone was a vitim of rape and didn’t know ? What if someone was abusing the other for mere pleasure ? Don’t you think that this is something to be discussed. Excuse me saying that but for now khalsa is not ruling the world and thank God for that. So, what I meant to say is that there are people including every sort of Sikh who do things for mere pleasure and no long term commitments. This article is not about sex, just see it as if it is another function of a basic householder that is discussed here. Afterall, aren’t Sikhs human beings or there is a different strand of DNA running in us ?

  15. karanvir Singh says:

    personally i feel that it is majority of the punjabi community that is not open to talking about sex more than the western community. i was born in Punjab and raised in USA. Through my personal experience it would have been a lot better for me if someone would have talked to me about these issues and guided me because i had no one to talk to about such issues i landed in such a big mess. Man to be honest with you for the most part i am very lustful person (like most of the young ones) and i try to clam my self by doing a lot of banis, meditating, sat kriya, exercise and keeping myself busy. I know how hard it is and i do work very hard at it, and by doing so i know that people who don’t do bani’s or do naam jappa that they are deeply caught up in it. Just go to your local Gurudwara and you’ll see the eyes of old and young ones wandering all around. It is because most of these people are so caught up in lust, that it becomes a Taboo for them to talk about it.

    Some of these granthis’ and giani’s i don’t know how they even become what they are because some of these people are the worst of them all. how can our communities prosper while the granthi’s and so called giani’s have not seen the light themselves. everyone is so good at talking and debating gurbani. but, very few practice it and live in the experience of it.

    our younger punjabi generations are going down hill very fast. in punjab we have elders neighbors in villages who can guide the young ones even if the parents are not wise themselves. Here the kids are all by themselves while both of the parents are out working fulltime. while the parents are out working the kids are getting caught up in too much stuff and then end up being miserable. they don’t want to be miserable, but they don’t know any other way. i personally believe that how to deal with lust and other vices should be taught in Gurudwaras on a practical level. and in the near future i plan to teach Sat kriya at my Gurudwara. the younger generation really have no idea how to live consciously and getting in to drugs, gangs and are dropping out of high schools at an alarming rates through my personal experience.

    one of the reasons Yogi ji is disliked by many people is because he spoke in a very blunt manner. For me personally the article above rings the bell very hard and keeps me motivated to never engage in another sexual relationship outside of marriage.

    we really need to talk about all these issues openly, learn from each other in order to guide the younger generations away from jails and in to colleges and graduate schools. i say jail because these days drugs and sex go hand in hand.

  16. sarbjit singh says:

    Normally, the animal nature is more prevalent among men than among women because man is the first incarnation. –> reincarnation? men first and women next? yogi bhajan was a none-sikh in many ways as his teachings and lectures were not in line with what the SGGS or general Sikh lifestyles is about.

    Depending what you eat before sexual intercourse, it can be great source of energy. :)

    • Shabd Singh says:

      General Sikh lifestyle? What are you referring to? Are you saying that there is a singular interpretation of the Guru Shabd? That someone can be so egotistical as to say that they understand the true general Sikh lifestyle.

      Before the Christianization of Sikhi by the English and English-educated Sikhs in the Singh Sabha movement, Sikhs as a whole were an incredibly diverse community. Are you to say that the Udassis, beloved by the living Gurus and the Sangat thereafter, were some how "less" Sikh?

      My point is that this homogeneous view of Sikh and "non" Sikh is so dangerous. What are we? Mindless Ideologues?

  17. Manpreet Kaur says:

    Pritam Singh Khalsa….what an EXCELLENT post…. the only post that made sence…waheguru….

  18. Bitnam Singh says:

    I agree with Manpreet Kaur.

    As a Gursikhs we must live the Bani and make it a practical part of our life.

    In Gurbani we can find all the answers and if you can’t then please consider continual recitation of Mool Manter and/or Waheguru Gur Manter. Other Gurbani recitation can be added, it depends on the individual. Guru Ji will very quickly give you the key to Gurbani without you even knowing it. Please understand this! I say it from personal experience.

    Sexual energy is something you will never conquer, just like the other 4 enemies inside us. Guru Ji makes this clear through Bani (read it and understand). What you have to do is control your mind. Guru Ji also tells us how we can begin to try and control our minds and I am sorry to say that Yoga, Fasting, Excluding oneself from society amongst other things is not the way to control your Panj Dusht.

    Ok, on the human level I admit that in the past I have been a very lustful and sometimes even now the KAM fire begins to rage, but day by day as I develop more of an understanding of Gurbani I find that I become equipped with the tools to extinguish or at least lessen the effect of the fire. If things get really uncontrollable then you have to take it to the physical plane to resolve the problem (this is the last resort).

    I hope that you will allow this entry to be posted on this forum as my last one was not.

    May Waheguru help us all to understand the way of life as explained in Sahib Sri Guru Granth Ji Maharaj.

    PEACE TO ALL MANKIND

  19. Jukay Singh says:

    Sex is strictly for within the confines of marriage, and even then, only for procreation purposes, and not for pleasure. There is no pleasure in anything except Gurbani and Naam Simran, all other pleasures are false.

  20. lovepreet says:

    Very good post. Isn’t it right to believe that everyone has a right to believe differently? Isn’t it also right to listen to whatever Guru ji wants the individual to understand? If we look at all of our comments, we all have a slightly different understanding. Perhaps we are meant to look at it differently. We respect your understandings and differences….:) on the general hand, niice post!

    P/S: Srry for posting so late!

    xoxo,
    lovepreet

  21. singh says:

    Doesn`t sex lower down the Kundlini shakti to muladhara ….? like masturbation does

  22. lovepreet says:

    Nice question…personally, I think it’s HOW you approach it that matters; [i.e.: horniness, lust, desire, etc.] If it’s for the communication of one soul to another through just an expression of togetherness and love, it’s alright [i.e.: a husband and his wife] .:) but that’s just what I think. I also think that Yogi Bhajan has a point: if your mind is geared in a generaly positive direction, it just passes as a stage of life like all things do.

    xoxo,
    lovepreet