Is Summer Here? It can’t be!

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Well, it seems that somehow we missed spring weather. The weather is so odd these days. It went from cold winter….to mid to upper 70’s (temperature). I was outside most of the weekend working in the yard getting all our garden related things ready for spring. The above picture is of my vegetable garden with drip watering lines. I can already visualize the fresh veggies!

It was great being outside in the warm weather. I was cleaning out our fountain which is outside…and realized that some mischievous boy (Hint Hint) had cut through the rubber liner, and so water was leaking out. Grrr…. kids always seem to find ways to cause trouble. Now I have to figure out a way to seal it up without having to break apart the whole fountain to replace the rubber liner. I’ll try rubber cement. I hope it works. Oh well…such is life as a parent.

Narayan had another interesting learning experience this afternoon. As we stopped at the Auto Parts store to get a tire repair kit (the rubber cement for the fountain)…I noticed Narayan walking down the isles looking at stuff. I got the glue and paid for it. We then drove home, and right after we got home I noticed him head straight to his room and close the door. Closing the door like this generally means he is being sneaky and got a hold of some candy. Or it could be something else that he is trying to hide.  Kids always think us parents don’t notice these things…..Haha… they are too obvious! "Papa Sees All!"  I walked in and caught him with two key chains. One was a Superman symbol and the other had Dodge Ram symbol. He was pretty surprised of me catching him. I realized that while we were at the store he had seen them and put them in his pocket. This is one of those innocent things that I think probably all kids learn. I then explained to him that it wasn’t ok to take things without paying for them and that he had to bring them back to the store. At hearing this he got really upset and emotional…but I wanted to make him understand that it wasn’t ok. I then tried to explain about being honest, earning money to buy things…being a Sikh…and that some people go to jail for stealing expensive things (I think that one opened his eyes). After he calmed down a bit I was able to get him into the car for our trip back to the store.

Anyways… without going into more detail…it was one of those important lessons for Narayan that I’m glad he went through. As young kids most don’t understand morality till they get a bit older. It’s easy for a kid to sneak a friend’s toy in their pocket….or take something that they like… without much thought. There are so many of these lessons that we as parents have to teach our kids. It felt good going through the whole process and in the end seeing the change in Narayan. I could have just taken the items back myself and left Narayan at home…but him having to bring it back I think made a big impact. He promised to never take anything from stores again without paying…and to ask his friends to borrow items before taking them. Hopefully we are over this lesson, because there are many more to come :)

I would love to hear any stories from other parents of lessons that you and your kids went through.

11 Responses to “Is Summer Here? It can’t be!”

  1. Antonia D'Onofrio says:

    MrSikhnet ji,

    This could have been a story from my childhood. My brother could have been Naarayan at age 5 more than 50 years ago. He went to a hardware store (remember hardware stores?) with my father, and later a mystery keychain was found on his person.

    He was truly upset by his behavior and understood in the end why what he did was wrong.

    Your story bowled me over! The match is amazing. And my brother too returned to the store with my father and made amends.

    There must be something about keychains and little boys.. hmm.

    Peace

  2. singhni says:

    Gurmastak ji, I am sure every parent can relate to this incident; most children do that in their childhood. It happened 7 years ago when my daughter was only 3 years old. Being the girl, she liked to take a yellow rubbar ducky on a key chain. I noticed that when I was strapping them in the car seats. I did not have to give her big lecture on morality at that age; except telling her that we don’t take things from stores w/o paying money first. I think it registered. the simple part was that we all ( 5 & 3 yr old and the baby) went back & returned the ducky to the store owner…the hard part was putting them back into car seats. :D

  3. Yasmine says:

    When I was around 3 or 4 yrs old, I became interested in my father’s camera. I started to teether over to it, and my mother said “thats Daddy’s toy”, in a cautionary voice. I thought about my own toys, and decided that I did not wish to live in a world were anyone’s toys could be taken. It ended any interest in taking anything. You should remind Naarayan of how much he likes his toys.
    P.S.
    Confidential to the doctor in Georgia, contact me.

  4. Mai says:

    Our son, Sandeep, reminds me of your Narayan so much. He, too was stubborn and strong-willed and an absolute delight.

    This story has nothing to do with pilfering, but it was a lesson we went through as a family. This is the story of the time Sandeep decided he was tired of his kesh.

    I think he was about five or six at the time. He had his moments, of course, but he was a lot of fun. I cannot remember having to seriously punish him for anything really bad. He’d threaten things when he got mad, but never follow through. He was rarely disrespectful of me and practically worshipped his dad.

    One time he was angry and threatened to chop off his hair. I think he was about six and he was tired of being ‘different’ from so many of his friends. I handed him a pair of scissors totally inadequate to the job, and said, ‘Here, if you can face Daddy afterwards. But you’ll have to do it yourself.”

    He looked up at me with those big, big eyes. ‘What will Daddy say?’

    ‘I don’t think he’ll say anything.’ I looked directly into those eyes. ‘I think he’ll just cry.’

    His eyes got huge. He didn’t say anything; he just handed me back the scissors.

    I told Mani, my husband, about the incident and that afternoon father and son had a real man-to-man, heart-to-heart talk about hair and then played catch in the yard.

    The next morning I was informed that hair is a wonderful gift from Waheguru and if the other kids didn’t understand that, then they were just uneducated and narrow. Very funny words coming from such a young boy. But he never again threatened to cut his hair.

  5. This account was from a woman I met today during my work shift at the Co-op.
    She said that when her son was 5 or 6 years old he would crawl under the pews (set in seats) in Church and grab people’s legs. She would not know this was happening until someone yelled in surprise.

    So, for a year, she said she would have to take him out of the church and lecture him about disturbing people and also not listening to the sermon. It took time but he finally learned to sit and not do his mischief.

    She sai

  6. Prabhu Singh says:

    I’ve been enjoying the warm weather, but I bet it will snow at least one more time this year. Hopefully it won’t snow on our Bhasaikhi jaloose like it did 2 years in a row (before last year).
    From adversity comes strength and I’m sure Narayan will continue to challenge you and you will both continue to grow.

  7. Hari Singh says:

    Hi Gurumustuk,

    Many thanks for sharing the story about Narayan. I am certain that it helps many people with their own kids and their own childhood experiences. I don’t want to make a big thing out of this but I feel that for Narayan’s sake these stories should not be made so public. He is growing fast and these stories could eventually become a major hindrance and embarrassment for him in the future. I may be wrong but I feel that as individuals, we all have our own self esteem and as children, their privacy needs to be protected – we are all entitled to our privacy – so are the kids – Its their right! As parents, we have a duty to guard the lives of our kids and to protect and build their character which clearly you are doing – but it needs to be done in private. This enables them to grow without praying eyes; stops other people judging them from these posts; and giving them negative comments all the time. What you did was absolutely right.

    With the internet, these stories are going to remain in the public domain forever and as Narayan grows up he will face these tales wherever he goes. If he is not emotionally strong, it could become a big problem and probably drive him away from the family who “have inflicted this damage on him”. He is a lovely kid doing what kids all over the world do. For most of the other kids, these sad memories will disappear and be forgotten as they grow physically and morally – but for Narayan, it will be different – all the negatives will be there for the whole world to read for generations to come.

    I am sorry if this sounds unreasonable but I have a deep feeling of discomfort reading the post. Please reflect on what I have said and seek guidance from the Guru and the Sangat and your parents. Please by all means post positives but not negatives. If you need to post something that is negative but important, then don’t mention the names – just make up a fictional family and tell it like a story. Please don’t take this as criticism but as “brotherly” talk from one Gursikh parent to another Gursikh parent! May Waheguru be always with you. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh!

    Please don’t publish this if you so wish – but reflect on it. Thx.

  8. PritamSingh says:

    Im not allowed to be jealous of your garden so Ill say I can only wish to have even 1/3 of your garden area to work with.

    When I was young (about3-4) I thought when you went to the store everyone puts in the cart what they want, and after checkout so the store knew what we took. But I was wrong, I didnt notice that people give money in exchange of what they want. Well my dad did the same thing you did and it taught me alot (I still remember visually in detail the whole thing. I cried because my Dad said I could go to jail for stealing :)

    Its better that you knew he was up to something and not him justifying being a good sneaker. Some people know its wrong and still do it anyway, Thats when they have cheated themselves out of the reality of life.

    Good Job with the veggie garden and the family garden. Both gardens grow more succulant when all the weeds have been pulled. :)

  9. Sat Sang Singh says:

    Gurumustak Singh Ji,

    In response to Hari’s comments, I just wanted to voice my support for keeping it real. This story is neither a positive or negative, as both the Siri Singh Sahib and William Shakespeare said, nothing is good or bad, it is thinking is that makes it so.

    To me, I remember my own tentative forays into shoplifting -there is no shame, it was a learning experience and by sharing Narayan’s story you give other parents as well as we grown-ups, who used to be children, a chance to look at it from a nuetral space and remember a moment of growth.

    I imagine you make a judgement about what is appropriate to share with your internet public, and it might make sense to ask Narayan if it is okay. But there is no such thing as trying to only be positive -that usually leads to a lack of authenticity.

    Anyway, I am very happy that spring is here, flowers, grass, green, pleasant temperatures and sunshine. :)

  10. Kiran says:

    Hi GM, How do?

    Hari Singh sounds like a hardcore developmental psychologist, who is really into his job! being a psychology graduate, dont worry about these stories going public..its great for the little guys development and will not hinder anything in his life. if someone finds discomfort reading something then they should just stop reading it.

    The same happened to me when i was younger, but i was slightly older then Narayran, 7 or 8 I think, anyways…i took lip balm without paying for and then mum had to take me back to the shop to go return it, I was told that it was wrong and that I would go to jail for stealing…that helped me because I never stole again…

    thats enough from me this morning, its a cold and grey day in London and its going to snow later on….Hope you guys are warmer…

    Lots of Pyar

    Kiran

  11. medhavini says:

    I don’t think it is shameful to share Narayan’s story. He is a young child, and did not know what he was doing. It is much better that it is posted so that other people, especially parents can learn how to deal with such situations.

    Parents especially in non-Western countries may be tempted to react to such a situation by beating the child (I have seen such happen). So it is better that more knowledgeable parents tell others how they deal with various situations as they arise, in a positive manner which teaches the child a lesson and does him no physical harm.