10 Principles to Live By

Today as I was resting at home trying to recover from being sick I watched an old class that Siri Singh Sahib had taught in Los Angeles. During the lecture he talked about how he when he was very ill he had shared some thoughts with Siri Simran Kaur (who was like a daughter to him) and said that if she practiced these things then she could avoid danger.

I remember back in my high school days reading the below advice and thinking a lot about it. It’s like any wise advice, sometimes it doesn’t fully make sense until one really thinks about it more deeply. I think the different points were relevant and helped me at different stages of my life. 

Practical principles to avoid danger to yourself

  1. If you don’t want enemies, don’t have friends.
  2. Love is not a dove.
  3. Don’t be so sweet that people will want to eat you, or so bitter that people will want to throw you away.
  4. Open the lips, Sink the ship   (In other words, your words and the things you say have a great impact. Use with consciousness).
  5. Excellence, Elegance and Grace are the three elements of a human being. If somebody challenges these three in you then avoid that person.
  6. Only share your strengths, not your weaknesses.
  7. If somebody says "I Love you", wait for the next step. People use love as a hook, they say they love you but they are only out to get something from you.
  8. Trust all for nothing.
  9. Remember your blessings over your weaknesses.
  10. Don’t utter words in friendship that can be used against you in animosity.

18 Responses to “10 Principles to Live By”

  1. singh says:

    Gurmustuk Singh ji,

    Could you please enlighten me on the first principle. Does it mean that it is not better to have friends as eventually some point later in the life they could possibly become your enemies?

    thanks

    Singh

  2. Aaron Kangeswaren says:

    These are very nice little tidbits of food for thought, and actually something worth implementing in ones life. After going over them a few times some of them reminded me of the book ‘The 48 Laws of Power’ by Robert Greene and also the book ‘Living on Purpose’ by Dan Millman. I found the book by Dan Millman and the “House Rules” he presents in it to be almost like a guide as to how to live a great life. Especially in times of confusion…sorry I don’t mean to be promoting something here, it’s just an observation I made that relates to me. Much like the things I read on this site daily…Thank you very much for everything and keep up the great work…it’s MUCH appreciated! =)

  3. Satnam all,
    I have this quote by Yogi Bhajan that I was typing up for my husband for his birthday today. We have had it in a small rusted frame and I thought to make it large and bold and beautiful. Words such as these are great to be boldly broadcast to our daily vision as a reminder of the benefits of rising in Amrit Vela and doing the Aquarian Sadhana that we have been gifted with. I shall share with you what follows:

    “The greatest reward of doing Sadhana is that the person becomes incapable of being defeated.
    Sadhana is a self victory, and it is a victory over time and space. When you get up for Sadhana you defeat a part of yourself because you don’t want to get up.

    Getting up is a victory over time, and doing it is a victory over space. That is what Sadhana is. Sadhana is only for you. It is a self victory.

    And when you do Sadhana in the Sangat, then you enrich yourself in multiple ways. First, the isolation which can hit anybody and make them go totally crazy is defeated.
    Secondly, when all of you meditate on God, the total effect of your Sadhana becomes multiplied by the number of people who did it.

    Sadhana is an answer to every misfortune. And who wants to see you in misfortune? Sadhana is not a matter of advantages and disadvantages. It is simply a means through which you can defeat all your miseries, misfortune and handicaps.
    It is a very personal thing which does not relate to anybody except you.

    Yogi Bhajan

  4. gmustuk says:

    singh: I think it means that with one comes the other. The polarity of life, good and bad. In other words you can’t only have “friends”….there is always the polarity and someone that might be your “enemy”.

    I take this point to mean that a person will always have people in their life that don’t like them for some reason….and that one just has to live life and be the best person that they can be. One cannot let their “enemies” bring them down. If you relate to any people…there will always be both sides (friends/enemies).

  5. Amarjot Singh says:

    “If you don’t want enemies, don’t have friends.”

    The way I see it is that one should lead a neutral life. We should not invest too much to make a friend for when we do we ignore something which might lead to enemies. If you read all the points carefully you will see that 1, 4, 6, 8 and 10 go hand-in-hand… one leading to another.

    Thank you Gurmustuk Singh for sharing this with us.

    And Happy Birthday Papa Ji.

    Satnam!!

  6. Guruka Singh says:

    I think it means to treat everyone equally, as a brother or sister (or mother, father, auntie, uncle, etc.) and not to judge anyone or prefer anyone. As Gurumustuk Singh says, as soon as you choose someone, someone else is rejected. I think “friend” is essentially a false concept which he is warning us against.

    …..G

  7. Harleen Kaur says:

    Our true friend is God or our inner self. Friends can convert to enemies when there is some mishap. Then, those friends remember the worse of you or your words and forget the good or best in you. The best thing to do is: be nice to everyone and, yes, treat everyone equally; in doing so, you will have no or lesser chance of having enemies who are those who challenge your excellence, elegence and grace. Unconditional love is rare. Many times, when someone says, “I love you”, there are also expectations with that love. You cannot trust everyone. Don’t allow others to use you or abuse you.

    This is how I interpreted the 10 principles.

  8. Devakaur Kaur says:

    Would someone pls explain #2: Love is not a dove.

    Thx!

    Deva K.

  9. Deva Kaur: I think this means that love is not just “lovey dovey”…and all romance. Love has no limit. Love is deeper than the emotional roller coaster and romance.

  10. To Devakaur Kaur: “Love is not a dove” – explain.

    To my understanding it means that love is not just sweetness and light, kind and gentle, but the most powerful force in the universe and in our individual lives. It is the greatest force there is: “Love conquers all” – “There is nothing but love, all else is illusion” – “Life is nothing but a flow of love, only your participation is required” to quote but a few.

    To think that love is like a dove is to see only the sweet side of love and miss the bitter sweet side of it; love that is harsh and painful, that can kill, love that can create miracles and resurrect: handle with care.

    Siri Pritam Kaur

  11. Sifar says:

    Are points # 7 and 8 not contradicting each other.

  12. Guruka Singh says:

    Number 8 is ironical. It means trust everyone not to do anything. He’s saying to just trust the Guru, not any human.

    …..G

  13. Devakaur Kaur says:

    Siri Pritam Kaur,

    Excellent understanding of the meaning and nicely explained!

    Thank you very much ji!

  14. singh says:

    Siri Pritam kaur ji,

    How can we define Love? Pyaar…Isn’t it a feeling of acceptance of people with whom we get in touch irrespective of their shortcomings….

    and a feeling of helping those people without any expectations….

    Does the definition of love covers more than what I had thought?

    How is love towards one’s spouse different?

    Thanks

    Singh

  15. medhavini says:

    I think towards ones spouse we have romantic love. Towards the whole world I (as a Buddhist) would describe it as loving-kindness or Meththa.

  16. Anonymous says:

    Hello,

    Don’t some of these seem kind of paranoid (1, 5, 7, 10) and judgemental which is what sikhi is not supposed to be? I could be completely missing the point though! Thanks

  17. Prabhu Singh says:

    The discussion is about protecting yourself, in this context these statements are not paranoid or judgemental, they are pracitcal and real.
    Until my home was robbed I never took physical security so seriously. When I thought about some druggy going through all my personal stuff and sacred artefacts and looking at the pictures of my family inside my house, I realized that I need to be pracitical despite my inherent trust for people. Perhaps Gurumustuk Singh Ji, should not have labelled it 10 principles to live by, considering it is a discussion in reference to principles for avoiding danger.

  18. Gupt says:

    Dear Anonymous Yellow,
    I understand why you would think that this aspect has nothing to do with Sikhi..I was reading it and first i thought you are right it has nothing to do with Sikhism etc..but then I thought it must have something to do with Sikhi as Gurumustuk Singh wouldn’t really post something sillyy..loll..jst kiddin..news back to the point…when I looked into the roots I Found a meaning
    1.If you don’t want enemies, don’t have friends:this could also mean that you should try to get rid of the ”FRIENDS” lust anger greed attachment and Ego that always bring you into trouble and seem ‘Sweet’ but are NOT.

    5.Excellence, Elegance and Grace are the three elements of a human being. If somebody challenges these three in you then avoid that person.
    Again the in depth analysis could be to get rid of 5 thieves((friends)lust anger attachment greed ego) which always come in the way of our Atmas(souls) pureness and weaken us..and make us do things that we wouldnt have done if we werent in their company.

    7.If somebody says “I Love you”, wait for the next step. People use love as a hook, they say they love you but they are only out to get something from you.
    Here we can appply Maya(mammon) which always distracts us from doing Naam Simran Amrit vela(sadhana) which delay our work etc. It seems like its our friend when infact its not if its distracting YOU from balancing Your MIRI and PIRI…

    10 Don’t utter words in friendship that can be used against you in animosity.
    Infact our own Guruji tells us not to talk unnessecary talks with anyone and anyway he tells us to break up with Kusangat (Bad company that takes us away from our remembering Gods Name) a gurbani line”dhoond sajjan sant pakkea kachariya sang torr”(I didnt spell it right sorry…It means both internally and externally….
    I would have written more but its 20:58 and my Mum wants me to sleep…Gud Luck and love form your Sister….
    Sorry for all the mistakes and I am sorry if you find it complicated but then SGGS ji needs to be read and understood with indepth analysis through unconditional Love with the Guru….
    Wow I learnt A lot through just writing this post( well my Gurus LOve made me write it.) It made me research and know more about my Love.

    PS VV sorry if I hurt your feelings in anyway…I just wrote what I am thinking…
    THANK YOU VERY MUCH ANONYMOUS……:) (YAwn, m tired loll)