Day 9 – 40 Day Sadhana (Challenges, Parenting, etc)

Still going? Hopefully those of you who have taken on the 40 day Sadhana challenge are still going! It’s been a real challenge for me (to say the least). Sometimes I hear my friends who are not married tell me how busy they are. I always smile to myself thinking, “You don’t know what busy means until you have kids“. One doesn’t know how busy and how their life will change until they have kids. I’m sure it might be easier for some parents, but no doubt in can be a challenge.

  • Challenge 1 – Lack of Sleep: I started the 40 day sadhana with the understanding that it would be a challenge, but I didn’t realize how much so. It wouldn’t be so hard if I was able to go to sleep early. It’s just that my daughter Charanjeet Kaur wakes up so much in the night and as a result we don’t get much sleep. I normally take Charanjeet in the first part of the night till about 11PM (sometimes later) and then head off to sleep. Then wake up at 5AM, do my Sadhana routine (which takes close to two hours) and then try to get a mini nap before everyone else is up and about. I have to say that right now 5-6 hours of sleep is a bit hard for me to function on. Short term it is ok….. I’m used to that…. but after a week or so…it catches up to you.
  • Challenge 2 – Getting Sick:  A few days before I started the Sadhana, Arjan and Charanjeet got some type of throat sickness (sore throat, mucous, cough, etc.). After a few days into my Sadhana I caught whatever they had. I think because I was tired from getting less sleep my immune system got weak. So, there I was sick and feeling lousy; but I knew I had to keep getting up every morning and doing my routine. It was hard, but I pulled through it. I think I am on the tail end of being sick, but am still pretty tired. I’m hoping that once my energy comes back (after I am totally well) I will be better able to function.
  • Challenge 3 – Kids: Narayan and Charanjeet Kaur are both very strong willed kids. They know what they want…and try to assert themselves. While this can be a good trait later in life, it can be such a challenge (to put it lightly) to teach and discipline them (mostly Narayan). Overall I think we do a really good job, but sometimes it can be a strain and difficult to maintain one’s “sanity”; especially when the adults are not getting much sleep. Narayan’s sun sign is Leo, and like the “lion” of this sign he doesn’t like to be told what to do and only wants to do things on his own terms. What can I say…it is hard to tame or train a lion! Not only that, but being the son of Guru Gobind Singh that makes him extra strong. All I can do is be patient, calm and keep working at it.

I’m still hanging in there. I do enjoy the morning time and I have already seen some health improvements with the morning cold showers. Overall It has been a really hard week and I was just thinking how it is important that parents/friends be there to support each other. I can only imagine what it might be like for a single mother to raise a child. As parents we all go through so many experiences raising our children and I think we all have something to share. I really do understand the importance and value to the old way of having a whole family (parents, grandparents, uncles, aunt’s, etc) living together, or at least living close to each other. It really does take a village to raise a child well.

Many of you married couples with kids can probably count on one hand the number of times in a year that you might have had to “go on a date” together, and have some relax time and fun as a couple (without the kids). Once you have kids all priorities change. Your kids come first and make such a change in life. It is no longer about just you. You can’t do things as spontaneously and at a whim. A trip anywhere (traveling to someone’s house or to another state) is a whole affair (I’m sure all the parents out there know what I mean!). I think parenting can teach a person so much, and force you to work on yourself and your relationship. However, it can also tear people apart and cause a lot of problems.

  • Friends Helping Friends – So, with these words I hope those of you who don’t have kids think about your friends who do have kids. You might not realize how much of a gift it would be to help out with the kids from time to time (or even just once)! It can be the difference of having some time to relax and do something fun or being totally stressed out and ready to crack. If the kids are old enough, have them over for some pizza and a movie. Take them to a museum or park. You might just find the kid in you! With Valentines Day coming up later this week it might be a good chance to give some of your friends (who have kids) a little break. I can tell you from personal experience, I remember every person and am so thankful for everyone who has helped me and Arjan in the past. It really does mean a lot, so don’t underestimate the value. You’ll score some serious “points” with your friend.
  • Blog “Talk Section – Oh yeah…I setup a mini discussion area for this blog which will be a place we can discuss stuff like this and other topics that come up on the blog. Comments are great, but for ongoing dialogs and sharing (like the 40 day Sadhana experiences) it doesn’t work as well to post comments. You’ll notice the new tab at the top of the website which says “Talk”. You can share your 40 Day Sadhana experiences there or other things related to parenting.