Day 9 – 40 Day Sadhana (Challenges, Parenting, etc)

Still going? Hopefully those of you who have taken on the 40 day Sadhana challenge are still going! It’s been a real challenge for me (to say the least). Sometimes I hear my friends who are not married tell me how busy they are. I always smile to myself thinking, “You don’t know what busy means until you have kids“. One doesn’t know how busy and how their life will change until they have kids. I’m sure it might be easier for some parents, but no doubt in can be a challenge.

  • Challenge 1 – Lack of Sleep: I started the 40 day sadhana with the understanding that it would be a challenge, but I didn’t realize how much so. It wouldn’t be so hard if I was able to go to sleep early. It’s just that my daughter Charanjeet Kaur wakes up so much in the night and as a result we don’t get much sleep. I normally take Charanjeet in the first part of the night till about 11PM (sometimes later) and then head off to sleep. Then wake up at 5AM, do my Sadhana routine (which takes close to two hours) and then try to get a mini nap before everyone else is up and about. I have to say that right now 5-6 hours of sleep is a bit hard for me to function on. Short term it is ok….. I’m used to that…. but after a week or so…it catches up to you.
  • Challenge 2 – Getting Sick:  A few days before I started the Sadhana, Arjan and Charanjeet got some type of throat sickness (sore throat, mucous, cough, etc.). After a few days into my Sadhana I caught whatever they had. I think because I was tired from getting less sleep my immune system got weak. So, there I was sick and feeling lousy; but I knew I had to keep getting up every morning and doing my routine. It was hard, but I pulled through it. I think I am on the tail end of being sick, but am still pretty tired. I’m hoping that once my energy comes back (after I am totally well) I will be better able to function.
  • Challenge 3 – Kids: Narayan and Charanjeet Kaur are both very strong willed kids. They know what they want…and try to assert themselves. While this can be a good trait later in life, it can be such a challenge (to put it lightly) to teach and discipline them (mostly Narayan). Overall I think we do a really good job, but sometimes it can be a strain and difficult to maintain one’s “sanity”; especially when the adults are not getting much sleep. Narayan’s sun sign is Leo, and like the “lion” of this sign he doesn’t like to be told what to do and only wants to do things on his own terms. What can I say…it is hard to tame or train a lion! Not only that, but being the son of Guru Gobind Singh that makes him extra strong. All I can do is be patient, calm and keep working at it.

I’m still hanging in there. I do enjoy the morning time and I have already seen some health improvements with the morning cold showers. Overall It has been a really hard week and I was just thinking how it is important that parents/friends be there to support each other. I can only imagine what it might be like for a single mother to raise a child. As parents we all go through so many experiences raising our children and I think we all have something to share. I really do understand the importance and value to the old way of having a whole family (parents, grandparents, uncles, aunt’s, etc) living together, or at least living close to each other. It really does take a village to raise a child well.

Many of you married couples with kids can probably count on one hand the number of times in a year that you might have had to “go on a date” together, and have some relax time and fun as a couple (without the kids). Once you have kids all priorities change. Your kids come first and make such a change in life. It is no longer about just you. You can’t do things as spontaneously and at a whim. A trip anywhere (traveling to someone’s house or to another state) is a whole affair (I’m sure all the parents out there know what I mean!). I think parenting can teach a person so much, and force you to work on yourself and your relationship. However, it can also tear people apart and cause a lot of problems.

  • Friends Helping Friends – So, with these words I hope those of you who don’t have kids think about your friends who do have kids. You might not realize how much of a gift it would be to help out with the kids from time to time (or even just once)! It can be the difference of having some time to relax and do something fun or being totally stressed out and ready to crack. If the kids are old enough, have them over for some pizza and a movie. Take them to a museum or park. You might just find the kid in you! With Valentines Day coming up later this week it might be a good chance to give some of your friends (who have kids) a little break. I can tell you from personal experience, I remember every person and am so thankful for everyone who has helped me and Arjan in the past. It really does mean a lot, so don’t underestimate the value. You’ll score some serious “points” with your friend.
  • Blog “Talk Section - Oh yeah…I setup a mini discussion area for this blog which will be a place we can discuss stuff like this and other topics that come up on the blog. Comments are great, but for ongoing dialogs and sharing (like the 40 day Sadhana experiences) it doesn’t work as well to post comments. You’ll notice the new tab at the top of the website which says “Talk”. You can share your 40 Day Sadhana experiences there or other things related to parenting.

11 Responses to “Day 9 – 40 Day Sadhana (Challenges, Parenting, etc)”

  1. Sat Atma Kaur says:

    My first week of the 40 day Sadhana was great, no problems at all getting up. All of a sudden my daily (or may I say nightly) schedule is messed up by night shifts and what was daytime before is now my night time. Any ideas how to resolve this? When I finish work in the morning, the sun is up; when I get home it feels like bedtime and my eyes just don’t stay open. So far I am coping, just doing things a bit differently, I am not sure if this is allowed.. I am aware Sadhana would be most beneficial in the morning before sunrise- but I did not want to quit, especially because I wish at least to complete the 40 day meditation. And the support of the group can be felt all the way here. Sat Nam.

  2. gmustuk says:

    Sat Atma: You should try to have a nap during the day if you can. Even a 11 minute power nap at lunch time will help.

    “What do toddlers, slackers, Leonardo Da Vinci, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Michelangelo and I have in common? Yes, we take naps. Deliciously refreshing, restorative renewing, naps.

    According to researchers, because of our napping habit, our learning and memory capabilities function at more complete levels and with a more integrated efficiency; our mental health is better; our immune system is stronger.

    “Evidence indicates that sleep, even a nap, appears to enhance information processing and learning. Experiments by Alan Hobson, M.D., Robert Stickgold, Ph.D., and colleagues at Harvard University show that a midday snooze reverses information overload and that a 20 percent overnight improvement in learning a motor skill is largely traceable to a late stage of sleep that some early risers might be missing. Overall, their studies suggest that the brain uses a night’s sleep to consolidate the memories of habits, actions and skills learned during the day. The bottom line? We should stop feeling guilty about taking that “power nap” or catching those extra winks the night before our piano recital.”

    Not only does the brain benefit from the sleep break we allow it, our body does as well. When we sleep, our body has another opportunity to heal itself, to restore balance to the complicated systems being carried on to maintain our physical health.

    Napping, a guiltless pleasure of practical purpose. Just ask Da Vinci, Edison and Einstein.”

    Another Interesting article

  3. Sat Naam Gmustuk ji
    for your immune system may i humbly recommend eating one clove of raw garlic, it’ll really help your immune system. if its too much try eating half of it then take two to three spoon fulls of dhaee, aka yogurt, it’ll help wash down the ickiness, and i also recommend that Bibi Arjan Ji take some raw garlic too its really potent stuff. Also when you brew your Yogi Tea at home you may wanna add extra Ginger to it..
    i hope it help and believe me raw Garlic is Amazing!!!
    Sat Naam
    Gurvinderpal

  4. Sat KriyaThank you for the tip Gurvinderpal! I make use of Garlic quite often for medicinal purposes. However one thing to keep in mind with Garlic (for those of you unmarried chaps), a “side effect” of garlic is that it helps build semen for men and creates sexual/creative energy. So if you eat a lot of Garlic and do not have a way of raising or transforming this “creative energy”/AKA: sexual energy”, then you might get quite frustrated. I know that Hari Krishna people totally avoid ginger, onions and garlic for this reason. The trinity roots are very healing and helpful to the body, one just needs to have ways to bring this creative energy up to high centers of the body. This is one of the benefits of Yoga. One particular Yoga Kriya called “Sat Kriya” is great for this. In the “old days” my parents and others used to do this for hours at a time. A highly recommended Kriya for men. Just 2-3 minutes a day will do wonders! You can read the details here.

  5. Jaspreet says:

    Till now things have been going fine with the Sadhana Routine, but today it was difficult.
    One thing is for sure that Guruji is helping, I got up from my sleep at 2:55 am, 5 minutes before the alarm was to go off, but laziness caught on, I thought I will wake up with the alarm.

    But finally when I woke up at 6:00 am, I had absolutely no memory of the alarm, and me putting it off. Today I could just manage Japji Sahib, Choupai Sahib, and the 5 pauris of Anand Sahib. Had to leave for work early so couldn’t manage doing the Simran and complete Anand Sahib.

    However on the positive side, even whilst doing the 3 banis the focus was good with the mind wandering less than it has done in the past before beginning the Sadhana schedule.

  6. Eva Kaur says:

    Hi Gurumustuk
    I didn’t start the Sadhana at first as I’m pregnant and thought I’d never be able to keep up because of the morning sickness… After reading everyone’s posts tho, I decided to go for it even though I can’t make it in the morning just yet. I’ve decided to do it after work, before dinner when I get home, I still don’t feel so well at that time, but I do feel a bit better than in the morning. I started last night, and it was HARD cos I felt so terrible, but I got through it and felt MUCH better at the end! So just wanted to say thanks for inspiring me, I’m determined to keep up!

    Sat Nam!

  7. 'BenJahmin' Rasmanc says:

    I and I humbly offer these tip for all those involved with the 40 day sadhana. The most important thing to do is rearrange your eating habits. In the West we eat our main meal early evening or late at night and this is a Supreme Sadhana Killer. I and I was taught by my Tai Chi teacher about the King, Man, Beggar eating philosophy. Eat like a King for breakfast, a man for lunch and a beggar for the evening meal. In Chinese medicine the digestive fire is at its peak between 7am and 11am so to eat a big meal at these times you get the full benefit of the Righteous Fire that healthy, wholesome foods can give. It will give you so much staying Power throughout the day when if you were to eat light in the morn with a sandwich for lunch you have missed the opportunity to put the Fire within your system that it needs to survive the day. Another vital ting that must be added to your Arsenal is to be in bed by 10pm as the energies of the earth change throughout the day and between 10pm and 3am the energy has changed to predominantly Yin which is the restful state of healing. It changes back to Yang after 3am when we are ready to rise for sadhana and catch the Wave of Jah Energy that the Sun creates when rising. If you can catch all 5 hours of Yin for recharging purposes you have a much better chance of rising for sadhana and lasting the day. If you are tune with nature you will notice your energy suddenly drop at exactly around 10pm so make sure you are in bed for this time preferably with an 11 minute Sitali Breath meditation or one of your own to empty the mind so you can drop straight into a deep sleep and not be goin through R.E.M. to empty the days subconscious. The final tip has already been touched upon by other breddas and sistren which is the Power Nap. You mus find time to have up to 31 minutes sleep at the most around about 3pm to 5pm to recharge. I and I resisted this for a long time but once me yielded my sadhana changed overnight. The Europeans swear by it and plan their whole days around the ‘siesta’ which comes around 3/4pm. Even if you grab 11 minutes it will give you enough Alpha waves to complete the day in Optimum Mode. Man prays that these are of benefit to someone and Dont Stop Warriors as The Time Is Now. Zion Love from the Heart.
    Wow Hey Jah Rules
    Wahe Guru
    BenJahmin Rasmanc

  8. Ravinder Singh says:

    I saw this on CNN today, naps might cut heart risk. How interesting is life whereby there are signs along the way, especially in relation to what we are discussing. The statistics provided are definately compelling reasons to do so.

    http://us.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/02/12/naps.heart.ap/index.html

    The only challenge i can see for a nap for me is that if people see me napping at work they will think it’s strange, that i am lazy or that i had a big night out the night before. I honestly don’t think i have an option to have a nap. If i did i would.

  9. Ravinder Singh says:

    I found a solution to my coffee and tea problem, ie having too much of it. I believe the main reason why i felt that i had to have a coffee / tea was that i trained myself that anytime i feel like having a drink or that i was tired i needed a coffee / tea. I personally feel that this had to do with dehydration.

    My solution is that i have bought a 1 litre . 1,8Oz bottle of water that i fill up in the morning and afternoon while i’m at work. I have dramatically reduced the amount of coffee / tea that i felt i needed during the course of the day and honestly i’m not tired either. I didn’t think it would work but honestly it does.

    Hope your feeling better Gurumustuk..

  10. Reema says:

    When I concentrate on brow point during meditation, sometimes it gives me head ache. Please help me on this.

  11. Guruka Singh says:

    Reema Ji – You are trying too hard. Concentrating at the ajna is completely sahej when it’s done correctly. Try this… just close your eyes and place the tip of your forefinger at the ajna (between the eyebrows.) Now, keeping your eyes closed, gently roll them upwards as if you were simply looking at your fingertip. Just imagine that you are actually looking at your fingertip through your forehead. When your eyes relax into this, remove your finger and concentrate on the spot you were touching. If you feel any strain or headache it means you are forcing it. Just relax into it. After a while, your eyes will go there naturally and easily.

    Love and blessings…..G