Have you heard my mother's beautiful CD, "Universal Prayer"? It is amazing (at least I think so!). If you listen carefully in some of the tracks you can here me singing backup male vocals. You can listen to some samples of the tracks and buy copies at SpiritVoyage.com or you can here the full tracks here (at the bottom of the page).

This may not be your style of music, but it sure is mine! The music had a lot of Gurbani woven into it and it is very appealing to a wide variety of people (especially non-Sikhs). Let me know what you think! My mother is currently working on her next CD release which should be out later this year. I've heard some rough drafts and it sounds great!

Our little family. Myself, Arjan and Narayan when he was just a wee lad. Now that I am going to England I have to start practicing my English accent. I know they'll laugh at my impersonations. Or maybe I'm so good...they will think I'm british.

Narayan Singh a few days after he was born. Wrapped up in orange cloth napping. (Just a flashback picture...I don't have a second child)

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi

Life is like a nest which must be built straw by straw.
Its composition should be according to requirements, its coziness should be to the standard of delicacy of softness, its place and height should be to the standard of safety, and it must be protected by the will of Infinity. Don’t count the deficiencies and demerits of your comrade or partner of life. Remember the merits and add as many as you can. Count your graces, your blessings and worry not for tomorrow.

What is an ideal marriage? The ideal marriage is a way of life in which a husband and wife compromise to face the time and space together for the security of their own life and their children. Marriage is the institution which cannot get boring, because it is a continuous hassle against time and space. How can a thing become boring when you have to exert every minute of your life keeping it going?

The institution of marriage can be anything in ritual. But in reality, it is the honest, living word of two individuals. And it must be lived unto God, unto the last breath, through time and space, come what may. If this is missing, everything is a sexual, physical, emotional relationship for temporary convenience. It is a mental prostitution. So don’t misunderstand the institution of marriage, its cause and effects.


Marriage is to lose yourself into one another. It is a process of amalgamation. If you put copper and zinc together, you’ll end up with a new alloy – brass. There is neither copper nor zinc. In the institution of marriage, two people become totally intermerged. They loose their basic properties and come out with a common alloy which is socially known as a married couple, with totally different virtues and different allocations of duties in life.

Marriage is an institution. There is nothing wrong with institutions. It’s a well-protected, laid down experienced institution. It’s a creative institution of human consciousness. Marriage is a carriage of united consciousness, united happiness. It’s a yoga. You get married. If you feel separate in one account, you’ll feel separate in every account. Why do our marriages break? Because we feel separated on one account and united on other accounts. That’s not the way this institution is established. Individual consciousness cannot help marriages. Marriage is an institution which depends upon honoring the word. That is why the scriptures say, “Whosoever honors the word of his marriage is honored in the court of the Lord.”

After marriage, you must protect your marriage. Marriages are organic. They have to live and grow. Marriage is an organized, clever, diplomatic hassle. The institution of marriage is a test of the total human caliber. It is the most difficult thing in the world to remain married. Husband and wife can’t be negative at the same time. When one is negative, the other is positive. You can never be still. Either you are on the way up or down. Marriage is a carriage of a united soul. Souls must join. I must understand you. You must understand me. God provides the understanding. Stand under.

When you are not socially or structurally or sexually compatible, mental imbalance is always the background. In such cases, both partners must discuss their mental backgrounds, possibly with the help of an expert, and try and overcome their difficulties. Remember, marriage is not a permanent institution. Marriage can be followed by divorce. It is your intelligence which can stop divorce. Be alert. Second, put your domestic guidelines in your memory and let the vehicle of marriage run on that lane.

You can marry an equivalent caliber. You can’t marry an equivalent body. Marriage is not to body, it is to a caliber. The majority of people suffer in marriage because they marry a body, not the caliber. You must have good caliber and equilibrium to determine what is good 50 years from now.

The secret of a happy marriage - make things happen together.
The Guru says, "Once you give your hand to somebody in the relationship, let your head roll off but not your hand go." Marriage is a commitment between you and God. Not to husband and wife.

Excerpts from Relax and Rejoice: A Marriage Manual Volume 2. Based on the teachings of Yogi Bhajan. Copyright Yogi Bhajan. For more information on Relax and Rejoice: A Marriage Manual, please contact Ancient Healing Ways at: http://www.a-healing.com/ or phone: (800) 359-2940.

"Communication is to a relationship what breathing is to living." - Virginia Satir

Shakti Parwha Kaur is writing a book about marriage and is collecting info from married people. She had lots of women who wrote material, but nothing from men, so I decided to take a stab at listing my advice and experiences to having a successfull marriage (in up to 700 words).

I have been married for 6 years and feel very lucky to have a wonderful marriage. It's definitely not a piece of cake though. It really does take both people being committed and willing to work with each other no matter what comes up. For me marriage provides mutual support, stability and companionship. Being married is like a spiritual path, which teaches you many lessons and allows you to challenge each other to work on yourself and be a better person.

I look at a person's life as having different levels of challenge/mastery, which are like Karate belts

1. White belt - Single Person
2. Brown belt - Married
3. Black belt - Married with Children

Being married with Children is the ultimate level with many challenges and tests to learn from (along with the many joys that come along with this).

Here are some key areas that have been keys to my successful marriage:

Communication
For my wife and me communication has been the KEY. You really have to talk to each other and listen to what the other person is saying. Acknowledge their feelings and make sure they feel that you understand them. Marriage is a partnership; it's not all about you.

Acknowledgement
I see many wives who do so much to take care of their husbands, children, the household, as well as work a full time job. In many of the cases the wives are frustrated and overwhelmed. It is so important to help each other out and not be lazy. The biggest thing you can do is to at least take the time to appreciate your spouse. If you do this they will love you even more, and feel really good about doing those things. When you don't show appreciation or help out, resentment can come in and feelings of not being supported. Every time my wife makes me a meal or does something for me I thank her and make sure I tell her how delicious the food was. She loves to cook for me because she knows it means a lot to me and she gets well appreciated.

Finances
I used to deal with all the finances in our household, but the problem was my wife had no concept of how much money we had, and how easy it was spent. Women love to buy things. Even more than guys like electronics. I know many people's wives that spend the money as fast as they make it. The key I have found is to make the woman of the house responsible for the finances so that she relates to the money. This turned our finances from just making it by every month to saving a lot of money.

Arguments
If you have an argument or fight, don't run off or leave things unfinished. You need to get closure and work things out. It's ok to take a few minutes to think about things or cool down, but you don't want to slam the door and take off in an angry burst. Feelings of anger and frustration will just grow and grow till it ruins your marriage. Don't bottle things up, talk about it and work something out.

Compromise and Change
Couples have different things in their household life which are important, but in most cases they are small things. Things like cleaning up after your self, putting the toilet seat down, arranging the house in a certain way. Don't resist change on these small things. I have found that if I just adapt and do the small things that are important to her it makes a huge difference. Then when there are things that are important to me I let her know and she adapts and changes to my needs. It is a give and take.

Romance
We live in a busy fast moving age. You come home, eat dinner, maybe watch TV and then go to sleep. It is too easy to loose the romance that is such a binding force for a marriage. As a guy I know it is hard to do the romantic stuff, but women NEED this. If you don't take the time to do fun things, surprise her, do things which make her feel loved and appreciated, you'll be in trouble. I used to give excuses about many of the holidays being so commercial and not wanting to buy into it. My wife let me get away with it for a while. The problemdidn't that I didn't do much in place of those holidays. In the end she sdidn'tthat she didn't care if they were commercial holidays, and that she expected flowers, cards, gifts, surprises.

These were just some things. There is so much more. Marriage is such a beautiful and fulfilling thing. Enjoy it! Learn from it!

Ps. I know all these things will vary depending on your relationship and cultural differences, so take the advice as one person's experience and not "THE" solution to a happy marriage.

"Not having flexibility to change is a tragedy in itself, and having too much flexibility not to stand for anything is a tragedy in itself." - SSS

Narayan singh letting loose after a full day up at Childrens Camp. All the local kids have been going every day up to "Ram Das Puri" where the Summer Solstice event happened last week. After Solstice there is childrens camp. I used to go to it too...when I was just a wee lad. Actually Narayan is going to a Montessori school here and the teacher (Ravi Kaur)...is the very same teach I had when I was his age.

I saw Narayan walking up to a pigeon and noticed that he was getting really close to it. It was strange that it wasn't flying away. I went up to it trying to sooth it so that it was not scared...and eventually picked it up. I think it must have been hurt. All the kids were excited to see pigeon up close. We then let it go and here in the picture they are watching it walk around. I hope it is ok. We said a letty mental prayer for healing :) The kids were concerned of it being hurt and what would happen.

Kuldip Singh who just moved here to Espanola was teaching Guru Dev Singh different self defense techniques. Narayan and the other kids came by and watched.

Guru Dev Singh practicing his self defense moves with Narayan

Get him!! All the kids do a surprise attack and jump on him.

Well... it looks like I'll probably be able to come visit my Sikh brothers and sisters in the UK! This is very exciting for me. I had gotten a generous offer from one Sikh gentleman who offered to donate some of his frequent flyer miles to cover the airfare, but unfortunately because of the summer being a peak travel time there was no availability. I pretty much started to get used to the idea that it wasn't going to happen right now. Then I got an email from someone else who said he wanted to help, and that he heard from his friend (who coincidentally was at the Summer Solstice Camp with me) that I was wanting to go. I guess he and some friends collected some money to cover the plane ticket (during his most busy exam time!). I am really thankful to those new friends from the UK who are helping with the travel arrangement, so that I can experience the UK sangat. Next time I hope to bring my wife Arjan Kaur and Son Narayan Singh along! I know they would love it too.

It is pretty cool how Guruji works things out. When you intensions are good and you put the prayer out to the universe, everything is always taken care of in the right time and space.

I have never been to England, other than the airport (which doesn't count). There are so many friends that I have made virtually but who I have never met there. I plan to be there for about two weeks, which seems like a lot of time, but I know it won't be enough. Time always flies by.

We haven't purchased the ticket so I don't know the exact date that I will be there...but I plan to participate in one or both of the Sikh Youth camps which are happening around August 21st - 27th (KhalsaCamp.com and SikhStudent.org), and then have a week or a few days after to travel around a bit.

If you know of any events that are happening near the end of August please do let me know. I want to get around as much as possible. There are so many people in the UK that are doing such a great job in many different areas. I would love to personally meet some of them so that we have a personal connection and figure out ways to support each other's efforts.

I look forward to hearing all the British accents, especially of the Sikhs. I love the English accent, it's so cool. I guess I'll be the one with the accent when I get there. Hahaha. It will all be fun. I'm looking forward to learning/sharing, making new friends and having a good time!

My good friends Guru Jaswant Kaur and Rajveer Singh from Singapore just started their own blog. They are doing a lot of great work and community service for the youth. I look forward to see updates on their blog!

You can see their blog at:
http://raviandjay.blogspot.com/

ps. On today's post you can see a picture of some of the moms and their kids (Arjan and Narayan included). It was like taking a picture of a panj. :) 5 moms and 5 kids..

I was going through some old pictures and found a letter from Siri Singh Sahib Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji (aka: Yogi Bhajan).

I had sent him a letter asking for advice in dealing the challenges I was going through at the time. To give a little context I had recently graduated from school in India and was facing a lot of duality about being a Sikh and growing up as a Sikh in America.

This was right before I started the SikhNet.com website.

November 18, 1995

My dear son in divine

Sat Nam. I am very grateful to you for keeping up and going through the hell of life.

Life is a situation of test, trial and triumph. You will be tested in your life and you must be strong. There is no easy way, and no easy answer. You must face all of your doubts and excel in spite of them; this is the test of life. A test would not be a test if it did not take all of your grit to overcome it. Every man who has achieved greatness in his life has gone through the most difficult time, full of doubt and pain. However, one thing that you must remember is that these situations build your character and make you strong. There is nothing for you to do but to overcome yourself. I cannot dispel your doubts, only you can do this through your spiritual practice. Those you run away from doubt and fear without challenging it can never live in peace or have happiness. This is your test, my son. See it for what it is and get on with your life.

My deepest prayers and blessings are with you. May Guru Ram Das bless you and guide you.

In the name of the cosumes which prevail through everyBODY and the Holy Nam which holds the world.

Humbly Yours
Yogi Bhajan

"Woman is the fountain of spirit in which the future of humanity is nursed" - SSS

My Back Yard and fountain in the corner. Well...if you saw my photos from April you can see that much has progressed with my garden. The plants are growing up...the grass has grown. It's great. Take a look at the archive from April...and you'll see how things have changed!

Grass..Grass Everywhere!

Garden is Flourishing! (The front of my house)

Har Nar Singh from Venice Beach, California. He is somewhat famous. You normally see him in the movies riding on roller skates with an electric guitar at Venice Beach.

A Women and her son who came to Gurdwara

The newlywed couple, Kartika and Ajai Singh

Sat Bir Kaur and her daughter

Why are you taking my picture?

Brothers Lakhmi Chand and Siri Chand

Bibiji Inderjit Kaur and the Bride Kartika Kaur

Gurinder Singh from Seattle, WA. who came to participate in the Summer Solstice Event and has been spending some time in the SikhNet office helping with http://www.sikhiwiki.org project.

Sadasat Simran Singh and Guru Dham Singh checking out pictures on the digi camera.

Siri Avtar Singh (Jagat Guru Singh and Guru Dev Kaur's Son). They live and teach at Miri Piri Academy in Amritsar.

Friends from the Phoenix, Arizona Sangat along with Dr. Balkar Singh (far right) who lives here and teaches Punjabi and Sikh Studies at our local school.

"If you really want respect in this life, never advise anybody without being asked; and secondly, when somebody really asks you for advice, just wait until he is ready to listen; and when you find the person is really ready to listen, then always give him the polarity, the two sides of the subject as you know it." - SSS

This was at a party for my friends engagement (Siri Amrit Singh and his fiance Nirinjan Kaur). The house we were at had a spectacular view of the Black Mesa and the mountains.

It was amazing watch the clouds quickly come from the mountains and eventually cover everything till you can't see anything anymore. In New Mexico...we don't get heavy rain storms that often. Normally there are just a few rain clouds that get a small area. It is pretty common to have your house get rained on...and a few blocks away...no rain. So...being in a drought area...we welcome rain in all forms! Especially heavy rain!

Every year for the past 30 or so years we have had the summer solstice camp in the mountains..and it always seem to rain when we do the tantric yoga meditations. I heard an interesting thing the other day...that the local farmers know that when the "people in white" come during the summer...that the rains come. Must be all the meditation and prayers! Kind of like a rain dance :)

Narayan watching the storm approach and then do a funny backward walk.

Narayan watching the massive clouds approach, eventually envoloping the mountains and the Black Mesa.

Narayan and friends picking Cherries from the tree. Yummy!

The storm is starting to hit...had to run in otherwise my camera would get wet. It started blowing really hard after this picture.

Smile!

Sarib Singh, SatPavan Kaur (author of "Bhangra Workout") and their daughter

Sat Bir Singh (one of my old school mates), Agam Singh and Livtar Singh (author of: "Song of the Khalsa")

The storm has passed over and the sun starting to shine...

"If you want to learn a thing, read that;
if you awnt to know a thing, write that;
if you want to master a thing, teach that." - SSS

"Mantra is the permutation of the sound current that allows you to focus, concentrate, and experience God consciousness. Your thinking pattern is based upon what you normally speak. By reciting the mantra, you actually change your thinking pattern and mental focus to a divine frequency. If you speak the word of the Divine you will become Divine." - SSS

At the end of the Summer Solstice camp there is always and all night Rensabhai Kirtan. Everyone brings their blankets and sleeping bags under the huge shelter/Gurdwara and listens/sleeps with the soothing words of Gurbani. It is definitely a highlight of the camp.

Every year in the early morning after the ransabhai kirtan there is an Amrit Ceremony which happens. I think about 18 people took Amrit this time. My parents are normally part of the Panj Piare so I hear a lot about it. My wife Arjan Kaur and brother Dharam Singh took Amrit at Summer solstice (a few years back...on different years). It was so inspiring to see them sitting next to the Guru after the Amrit ceremony was finished. I remember seeing Arjan that morning sitting there and hearing the Gurbani being played and tears streaming down my face. I can't really explain it...but it was a strong emotion of joy and inspiration.

From the day I met Arjan she has been an inspiration to me, and loves me for who I am. I remember coming back from India after school, not having many friends, trying to fit in, and be something that I was not. When I met Arjan at Winter Solstice in Florida we had a connection right away. She had recently became a Sikh. For her the Sikhi lifestyle was what she had been looking for. She turned my life around. I was soo used to others pressuring me to be different than I was (not wear bana, cut hair, etc) and it was so refreshing to meet a women that thought it was so attractive wearing a turban and bana (kurta/pajama). For once I could just be me. I always pray that other single Sikhs meet someone who stretches them to be a better person.

Kirtan as the sun sets in the background...

Meditating on the Shabad Kirtan.

The Gurdwara up in the mountains...

My mother playing Shabad Kirtan

Sat Kirin Kaur Khalsa (New York Wale - AKA My mother)

Amar Singh loves to sit with the tabla uncles during Gurdwara. During the shabd kirtan he will just go and sit in their lap while they play tabla at Gurdwara.

Uncle Harimanderjot Singh and Amar Singh.

Chardikala Jataha at the Rensabhai kirtan..

Cherdikala Jatha playing Gurbani kirtan

Amar Singh...

Here is an email that was forwarded to me that I thought was interesting:

"Dear Guru Pyareo,
I would like to share my recent experience with our Kirpaan in NSW Parliament.

On the evening of wednesday, the 25th May 05, I was invited to attend Vesak day (Buddha Jayanti) celebrations at NSW Parliament which was attended by Governor of NSW, Premier of NSW and at least 5 Ambassodors and Councillor General of various countries including Pakistan and various Ministers and speaker of NSW Parliament.

Of couse there was a tight security arrangements. But to my great surprise, the security officer knew about the knife legislations and religious exemption. I was asked to go through metal detector as usual. My body was thoroughly checked as is done at the international airport. With a smile on his face, the security office gladly allowed me to enter the Parliament with Kirpan. However, he politely said that I am not allowed to take the nail cutter which I had in my pocket. He took the nail cutter from me and gave me the receipt.

I collected the nail cutter on my return.

Regards
Kulbir Singh"

The sun setting behind the mountains...

Arjan is doing some chiropractic adjustment on a friend's baby. Probably thinking how she want's another kid, remembering when Narayan was small.

Prabhjot Singh. I love this little guy. He is so cute.