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MARRIAGE - My Advice and Experiences
 Shakti Parwha Kaur is writing a book about marriage and is collecting info from married people. She had lots of women who wrote material, but nothing from men, so I decided to take a stab at listing my advice and experiences to having a successfull marriage (in up to 700 words). I have been married for 6 years and feel very lucky to have a wonderful marriage. It's definitely not a piece of cake though. It really does take both people being committed and willing to work with each other no matter what comes up. For me marriage provides mutual support, stability and companionship. Being married is like a spiritual path, which teaches you many lessons and allows you to challenge each other to work on yourself and be a better person.
I look at a person's life as having different levels of challenge/mastery, which are like Karate belts - White belt - Single Person
- Brown belt - Married
- Black belt - Married with Children
Being married with Children is the ultimate level with many challenges and tests to learn from (along with the many joys that come along with this).
Here are some key areas that have been keys to my successful marriage:
Communication
For my wife and me communication has been the KEY. You really have to talk to each other and listen to what the other person is saying. Acknowledge their feelings and make sure they feel that you understand them. Marriage is a partnership; it's not all about you.
 Acknowledgement
I see many wives who do so much to take care of their husbands, children, the household, as well as work a full time job. In many of the cases the wives are frustrated and overwhelmed. It is so important to help each other out and not be lazy. The biggest thing you can do is to at least take the time to appreciate your spouse. If you do this they will love you even more, and feel really good about doing those things. When you don't show appreciation or help out, resentment can come in and feelings of not being supported. Every time my wife makes me a meal or does something for me I thank her and make sure I tell her how delicious the food was. She loves to cook for me because she knows it means a lot to me and she gets well appreciated.
Finances
I used to deal with all the finances in our household, but the problem was my wife had no concept of how much money we had, and how easy it was spent. Women love to buy things. Even more than guys like electronics. I know many people's wives that spend the money as fast as they make it. The key I have found is to make the woman of the house responsible for the finances so that she relates to the money. This turned our finances from just making it by every month to saving a lot of money.
Arguments
If you have an argument or fight, don't run off or leave things unfinished. You need to get closure and work things out. It's ok to take a few minutes to think about things or cool down, but you don't want to slam the door and take off in an angry burst. Feelings of anger and frustration will just grow and grow till it ruins your marriage. Don't bottle things up, talk about it and work something out.
Compromise and Change
Couples have different things in their household life which are important, but in most cases they are small things. Things like cleaning up after your self, putting the toilet seat down, arranging the house in a certain way. Don't resist change on these small things. I have found that if I just adapt and do the small things that are important to her it makes a huge difference. Then when there are things that are important to me I let her know and she adapts and changes to my needs. It is a give and take.
Romance
We live in a busy fast moving age. You come home, eat dinner, maybe watch TV and then go to sleep. It is too easy to loose the romance that is such a binding force for a marriage. As a guy I know it is hard to do the romantic stuff, but women NEED this. If you don't take the time to do fun things, surprise her, do things which make her feel loved and appreciated, you'll be in trouble. I used to give excuses about many of the holidays being so commercial and not wanting to buy into it. My wife let me get away with it for a while. The problemdidn't that I didn't do much in place of those holidays. In the end she sdidn'tthat she didn't care if they were commercial holidays, and that she expected flowers, cards, gifts, surprises. These were just some things. There is so much more. Marriage is such a beautiful and fulfilling thing. Enjoy it! Learn from it! Ps. I know all these things will vary depending on your relationship and cultural differences, so take the advice as one person's experience and not "THE" solution to a happy marriage.
Posted by Gurumustuk Singh | |
Quote of the Day
"Not having flexibility to change is a tragedy in itself, and having too much flexibility not to stand for anything is a tragedy in itself." - SSS
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 Narayan singh letting loose after a full day up at Childrens Camp. All the local kids have been going every day up to "Ram Das Puri" where the Summer Solstice event happened last week. After Solstice there is childrens camp. I used to go to it too...when I was just a wee lad. Actually Narayan is going to a Montessori school here and the teacher (Ravi Kaur)...is the very same teach I had when I was his age.
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 I saw Narayan walking up to a pigeon and noticed that he was getting really close to it. It was strange that it wasn't flying away. I went up to it trying to sooth it so that it was not scared...and eventually picked it up. I think it must have been hurt. All the kids were excited to see pigeon up close. We then let it go and here in the picture they are watching it walk around. I hope it is ok. We said a letty mental prayer for healing :) The kids were concerned of it being hurt and what would happen.
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 Kuldip Singh who just moved here to Espanola was teaching Guru Dev Singh different self defense techniques. Narayan and the other kids came by and watched.
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 Guru Dev Singh practicing his self defense moves with Narayan
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 Get him!! All the kids do a surprise attack and jump on him.
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Guruji is my Travel Agent - Visit to the UK
Well... it looks like I'll probably be able to come visit my Sikh brothers and sisters in the UK! This is very exciting for me. I had gotten a generous offer from one Sikh gentleman who offered to donate some of his frequent flyer miles to cover the airfare, but unfortunately because of the summer being a peak travel time there was no availability. I pretty much started to get used to the idea that it wasn't going to happen right now. Then I got an email from someone else who said he wanted to help, and that he heard from his friend (who coincidentally was at the Summer Solstice Camp with me) that I was wanting to go. I guess he and some friends collected some money to cover the plane ticket (during his most busy exam time!). I am really thankful to those new friends from the UK who are helping with the travel arrangement, so that I can experience the UK sangat. Next time I hope to bring my wife Arjan Kaur and Son Narayan Singh along! I know they would love it too. It is pretty cool how Guruji works things out. When you intensions are good and you put the prayer out to the universe, everything is always taken care of in the right time and space. I have never been to England, other than the airport (which doesn't count). There are so many friends that I have made virtually but who I have never met there. I plan to be there for about two weeks, which seems like a lot of time, but I know it won't be enough. Time always flies by. We haven't purchased the ticket so I don't know the exact date that I will be there...but I plan to participate in one or both of the Sikh Youth camps which are happening around August 21st - 27th ( KhalsaCamp.com and SikhStudent.org), and then have a week or a few days after to travel around a bit. If you know of any events that are happening near the end of August please do let me know. I want to get around as much as possible. There are so many people in the UK that are doing such a great job in many different areas. I would love to personally meet some of them so that we have a personal connection and figure out ways to support each other's efforts. I look forward to hearing all the British accents, especially of the Sikhs. I love the English accent, it's so cool. I guess I'll be the one with the accent when I get there. Hahaha. It will all be fun. I'm looking forward to learning/sharing, making new friends and having a good time!
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Blog of Guru Jaswant Kaur and Rajveer Singh
My good friends Guru Jaswant Kaur and Rajveer Singh from Singapore just started their own blog. They are doing a lot of great work and community service for the youth. I look forward to see updates on their blog! You can see their blog at: http://raviandjay.blogspot.com/ps. On today's post you can see a picture of some of the moms and their kids (Arjan and Narayan included). It was like taking a picture of a panj. :) 5 moms and 5 kids..
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Letter from Yogi Bhajan - 11/18/1995
I was going through some old pictures and found a letter from Siri Singh Sahib Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji (aka: Yogi Bhajan). I had sent him a letter asking for advice in dealing the challenges I was going through at the time. To give a little context I had recently graduated from school in India and was facing a lot of duality about being a Sikh and growing up as a Sikh in America. This was right before I started the SikhNet.com website.
November 18, 1995
My dear son in divine
Sat Nam. I am very grateful to you for keeping up and going through the hell of life.
Life is a situation of test, trial and triumph. You will be tested in your life and you must be strong. There is no easy way, and no easy answer. You must face all of your doubts and excel in spite of them; this is the test of life. A test would not be a test if it did not take all of your grit to overcome it. Every man who has achieved greatness in his life has gone through the most difficult time, full of doubt and pain. However, one thing that you must remember is that these situations build your character and make you strong. There is nothing for you to do but to overcome yourself. I cannot dispel your doubts, only you can do this through your spiritual practice. Those you run away from doubt and fear without challenging it can never live in peace or have happiness. This is your test, my son. See it for what it is and get on with your life.
My deepest prayers and blessings are with you. May Guru Ram Das bless you and guide you.
In the name of the cosumes which prevail through everyBODY and the Holy Nam which holds the world.
Humbly Yours
Yogi Bhajan
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Quote of the Day
"Woman is the fountain of spirit in which the future of humanity is nursed" - SSS
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 My Back Yard and fountain in the corner. Well...if you saw my photos from April you can see that much has progressed with my garden. The plants are growing up...the grass has grown. It's great. Take a look at the archive from April...and you'll see how things have changed!
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 Grass..Grass Everywhere!
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 Garden is Flourishing! (The front of my house)
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 Har Nar Singh from Venice Beach, California. He is somewhat famous. You normally see him in the movies riding on roller skates with an electric guitar at Venice Beach.
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 A Women and her son who came to Gurdwara
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 The newlywed couple, Kartika and Ajai Singh
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 Sat Bir Kaur and her daughter
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 Why are you taking my picture?
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 Brothers Lakhmi Chand and Siri Chand
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 Bibiji Inderjit Kaur and the Bride Kartika Kaur
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 Gurinder Singh from Seattle, WA. who came to participate in the Summer Solstice Event and has been spending some time in the SikhNet office helping with http://www.sikhiwiki.org project.
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 Sadasat Simran Singh and Guru Dham Singh checking out pictures on the digi camera.
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 Siri Avtar Singh (Jagat Guru Singh and Guru Dev Kaur's Son). They live and teach at Miri Piri Academy in Amritsar.
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 Friends from the Phoenix, Arizona Sangat along with Dr. Balkar Singh (far right) who lives here and teaches Punjabi and Sikh Studies at our local school.
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Quote of the Day
"If you really want respect in this life, never advise anybody without being asked; and secondly, when somebody really asks you for advice, just wait until he is ready to listen; and when you find the person is really ready to listen, then always give him the polarity, the two sides of the subject as you know it." - SSS
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 This was at a party for my friends engagement (Siri Amrit Singh and his fiance Nirinjan Kaur). The house we were at had a spectacular view of the Black Mesa and the mountains.
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 It was amazing watch the clouds quickly come from the mountains and eventually cover everything till you can't see anything anymore. In New Mexico...we don't get heavy rain storms that often. Normally there are just a few rain clouds that get a small area. It is pretty common to have your house get rained on...and a few blocks away...no rain. So...being in a drought area...we welcome rain in all forms! Especially heavy rain! Every year for the past 30 or so years we have had the summer solstice camp in the mountains..and it always seem to rain when we do the tantric yoga meditations. I heard an interesting thing the other day...that the local farmers know that when the "people in white" come during the summer...that the rains come. Must be all the meditation and prayers! Kind of like a rain dance :)
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Before the Storm
Narayan watching the storm approach and then do a funny backward walk.
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 Narayan watching the massive clouds approach, eventually envoloping the mountains and the Black Mesa.
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Picking Cherries from the Tree
Narayan and friends picking Cherries from the tree. Yummy!
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 The storm is starting to hit...had to run in otherwise my camera would get wet. It started blowing really hard after this picture.
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 Smile!
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 Sarib Singh, SatPavan Kaur (author of " Bhangra Workout") and their daughter
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 Sat Bir Singh (one of my old school mates), Agam Singh and Livtar Singh (author of: " Song of the Khalsa")
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 The storm has passed over and the sun starting to shine...
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Quote of the Day
"If you want to learn a thing, read that; if you awnt to know a thing, write that; if you want to master a thing, teach that." - SSS
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What effect does Mantra have?
"Mantra is the permutation of the sound current that allows you to focus, concentrate, and experience God consciousness. Your thinking pattern is based upon what you normally speak. By reciting the mantra, you actually change your thinking pattern and mental focus to a divine frequency. If you speak the word of the Divine you will become Divine." - SSS
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All Night Rensabhai Kirtan
 At the end of the Summer Solstice camp there is always and all night Rensabhai Kirtan. Everyone brings their blankets and sleeping bags under the huge shelter/Gurdwara and listens/sleeps with the soothing words of Gurbani. It is definitely a highlight of the camp. Every year in the early morning after the ransabhai kirtan there is an Amrit Ceremony which happens. I think about 18 people took Amrit this time. My parents are normally part of the Panj Piare so I hear a lot about it. My wife Arjan Kaur and brother Dharam Singh took Amrit at Summer solstice (a few years back...on different years). It was so inspiring to see them sitting next to the Guru after the Amrit ceremony was finished. I remember seeing Arjan that morning sitting there and hearing the Gurbani being played and tears streaming down my face. I can't really explain it...but it was a strong emotion of joy and inspiration. From the day I met Arjan she has been an inspiration to me, and loves me for who I am. I remember coming back from India after school, not having many friends, trying to fit in, and be something that I was not. When I met Arjan at Winter Solstice in Florida we had a connection right away. She had recently became a Sikh. For her the Sikhi lifestyle was what she had been looking for. She turned my life around. I was soo used to others pressuring me to be different than I was (not wear bana, cut hair, etc) and it was so refreshing to meet a women that thought it was so attractive wearing a turban and bana (kurta/pajama). For once I could just be me. I always pray that other single Sikhs meet someone who stretches them to be a better person.
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Snatam Kaur playing shabad kirtan
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 Kirtan as the sun sets in the background...
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 Meditating on the Shabad Kirtan.
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 The Gurdwara up in the mountains...
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 My mother playing Shabad Kirtan
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 Sat Kirin Kaur Khalsa (New York Wale - AKA My mother)
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 Amar Singh loves to sit with the tabla uncles during Gurdwara. During the shabd kirtan he will just go and sit in their lap while they play tabla at Gurdwara.
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Haribhajan Kaur and Nirinjan Kaur playing kirtan
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 Uncle Harimanderjot Singh and Amar Singh.
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Cherdikala Jatha
Chardikala Jataha at the Rensabhai kirtan..
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 Cherdikala Jatha playing Gurbani kirtan
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 Amar Singh...
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Kirpan v/s Nail cutter in NSW Parliament
Here is an email that was forwarded to me that I thought was interesting:"Dear Guru Pyareo,
I would like to share my recent experience with our Kirpaan in NSW Parliament.
On the evening of wednesday, the 25th May 05, I was invited to attend Vesak day (Buddha Jayanti) celebrations at NSW Parliament which was attended by Governor of NSW, Premier of NSW and at least 5 Ambassodors and Councillor General of various countries including Pakistan and various Ministers and speaker of NSW Parliament.Of couse there was a tight security arrangements. But to my great surprise, the security officer knew about the knife legislations and religious exemption. I was asked to go through metal detector as usual. My body was thoroughly checked as is done at the international airport. With a smile on his face, the security office gladly allowed me to enter the Parliament with Kirpan. However, he politely said that I am not allowed to take the nail cutter which I had in my pocket. He took the nail cutter from me and gave me the receipt. I collected the nail cutter on my return.
Regards
Kulbir Singh"
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 The sun setting behind the mountains...
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 Arjan is doing some chiropractic adjustment on a friend's baby. Probably thinking how she want's another kid, remembering when Narayan was small.
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 Prabhjot Singh. I love this little guy. He is so cute.
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 An old friend from my days in Los Angeles. This week he always gave me extra food at meal times. hahaha
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 The storm clouds passing by. The cloud on the upper right looked like it was dripping. It looked pretty cool.
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 This little kid and his mother were so cute...so I took a picture of them.
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 The Girls Posing for a photo...
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 Dharampal Singh
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 Gurudev Singh and Narayan. Gurudev is one of Narayan's "big brother" friends. This year Gurudev is going to be going to Miri Piri Academy in Amritsar.
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 The sun coming through the clouds after the rain.
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 Narayan's Grandmother made him a Batman cape which he loves to wear and run around with.
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 On one day it rained really hard and Narayan was having fun running around in the rain and playing with the water.
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 During the day tons of watermelon were served to keep us cool and have for a snack.
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 All through the week in during the classes this mother bird was flying out to get food for her babies. Everytime the mother came...the babies would chirp wildly. It was fun to watch.
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 Super Bear Hug from my new friend Mandeep Singh. I really enjoyed meeting him. So bright and full of Guru's energy.
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Mr. Chand?
 Is this Lakhmi Chand or Siri Chand? They are twins so I can never get it right. That's why I call them "Mr Chand"...just to be on the safe side.
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 On one day everyone got together to remember the life of Yogi Bhajan and his many accomplishments. Many people were not able to participate in the memorial that was held earlier this year and this was a good "closing" for many.
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May the long time sunshine upon you...
Snatam Kaur leading everyone in the closing song of "May the long time sunshine upon you..."
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 Bibiji Inderjit Kaur telling stories and remembering the life of Siri Singh Sahib Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji (AKA: Yogi Bhajan)
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 Bibiji Inderjit Kaur (wife of Yogi Bhajan), Kulbir Singh (son) and Kamaljit Kaur (daughter) saying a few words to everyone.
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Morning Bhangra Class/Workout
In the morning after Sadhana Ravi Kaur taught people how to do Bhangra. It was a pretty good workout! Ravi always choreographs some great dances.
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 Narayan, Siri Amrit and Arjan.
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 After Sadhana just hanging out. The Khalsa family.
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 Dinner. Everyone lines up (like langar lines) and we are served.
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 Sat Bir Singh and Siri Swami Kaur. Some of my good friends who now live in Eugene, Oregon. During this week they were in charge of the Childrens camp.
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 One of the meditations during the week was a "blind" walk where one person leads about 10 people in a chain with their eyes closed around the field. He chants "Waheguru"...and then everyone repeats it after him. I don't know the details of the meditation otherwise I would elaborate more. It's pretty cool though seeing the chains of white clothed people covering the land all over. Narayan had a fever so I was in the medical trailer sitting with him while he slept (so I wasn't able to participate or take more pictures). I snuck out real quick to take this one.
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 Narayan snuggled up in the sleeping bag in the morning during the daily Sadhana.
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Yogi Tea Cafe - Jam Sessions
Every evening at Summer solstice different musicians would play some type of music and people would sit back, drink fresh brewed hot yogi tea, relax, dance, and just feel the good vibes. It was fun. Here is one of the jam sessions. There are people from all over the world so the music would range from, spiritual rap, classical indian, bluegrass, rock, world/fusion, etc. I don't really know how to categorize them all. The last night I was there was great fun with the young guys and girls rapping. Some good humor and spiritual rhymes.
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Candid Camera
Candid Camera Shot of Mr. Chand and Shabad Simran Kaur.
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Gatka Invocation
Miri Piri Academy Kids starting the Gatka presentation with the invocation. My portable digital camera doesn't record well in low light so most of it is pretty dark. You can see another video here.
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Back from the Mountains....
Well... I am back from a week in the mountains at the Summer Solstice event. Below are some pictures and videos. More to post soon. Lots of stuff to share. I'm pretty tired and it is late so I'll post some more tommorow or the day after. Tommorow (sunday) a friend is getting married and there is a big Gurdwara, so it will be another busy day in Espanola. There is always a lot going on here during the summer. Women's Camp is also starting tommorow, and my wife Arjan Kaur is going to be there with Narayan....so with them at camp I'll be a "bachelor" for the week and I'm sure I'll have plenty of time after work to catch up on the blog.
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 The beautiful morning sky with the full moon setting.
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 My solstice badge
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 Work of Art!
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Miri Piri Academy Kids doing Bhangra
Every evening there is different entertainment. On this night the Miri Piri Academy kids who graduated that year put on a show. One of the things was some of the Girls doing Bhangra.
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Art Projects for the Kids
Narayan and other kids doing some art projects.
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Narayan Dancing
Narayan doing a dance and just having fun being a kid.
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Waheguru Meditation
Singing and meditating in the morning to Waheguru. Our whole family and a few others were leading this morning meditations.
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 My mother and father (Sat Kirin Kaur and Siri Vishnu Singh) leading the meditations in the morning.
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 Meditating at Morning sadhana
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 The super solstice diet of Mungmeans and rice, carots, beats, hot sauce and lettuce. This is what we normally ate every date for dinner. Part of the cleansing diet for the week.
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 Arjan and Siri Amrit Singh. Siri Amrit used to live with me and Arjan and also work at SikhNet. He moved to India this last year and has been studying Kirtan.
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 Gurdwara on Sunday up in the mountains under the shelter.
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 Narayan Singh Cutey...
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 Sat Sangat Singh and Hari Kaur who got married at this Gurdwara during Summer solstice.
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 Bibiji reading the hukamnama at Gurdwara
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 Siri Nirankar Singh..another friend. His daughter is also good friends with my son.
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 My friend Dharampal Singh who just took Amrit this morning. His daughter (Hari Simran kaur) is one of my son's best friends.
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 A friend of mine who I see from time to time at Summer Solstice every year.
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 Sewa Singh (The artist) in Meditation during Gurdwara. You can see some of his art work at: http://www.sikhphotos.com it's really beautifull and unique.
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 An American Indian tipi which is setup out in the field.
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 Playing old classical instruments from Guru Nanak's time.
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 During every Gurdwara we have a "kids program" and they normally sing a song and do hand motions with the song. One of the songs is "We are the Khalsa, mighty mighty Khalsa, Everywhere we go, people want to know, who we are, so we tell them, WE ARE THE KHALSA!"
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 Ardas...
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 During Ardas...
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 Hari Dharam Kaur during Ardas. She is one of the very dedicated women in our community who does at lot in our Gurdwara.
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 My mother (Sat Kirin Kaur) doing the Hukamnama
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Cherdikala Jatha Playing Kirtan at Gurdwara
Cherdikala Jatha Playing Kirtan at Gurdwara on Sunday
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 Meditating in the morning.
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 Women in meditation.
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 It was cold in the morning so everyone bundled up in sleeping bags or blankets.
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 Gagandeep Singh
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 A view from the back of the shelter of everyone doing Sadhana meditations together in the morning as the sun was rising in the back. This was a highlight for me every morning. I would pick up sleeping Narayan Singh and put him over my shoulder, grab my backback, a mat and a few sleeping bags and then as quickly as I could walk from my tent to the shelter. It was pretty hard carrying all the "stuff" (including Narayan). Once I was there and setup it was really peacefull to meditate along with everyone and watch the sun rise.
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 A man who was next to me meditating.
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Sadhana Meditations in the Morning
After 5AM in the morning near the end of the daily Sadhana, doing meditations...as the sun rises from behind the mountains.
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Sadhana Meditations in the Morning
Snatam Kaur and others leading everyone in a Waheguru meditation in the early morning for the daily Sadhana.
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 Sat Darshan Kaur and Narayan. This is one of Narayan's good friends who came out from Phoenix, Arizona for peace prayer day and the weekend.
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 My "house" for the week. Me and Narayan camped in this tent.
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 Everyone camps in tents for the whole week. Here are a few tents overlooking the mountains and field.
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 A view of the Shelter where many meals and classes are held. You can see the giant bazaar and food/entertainment tent in the background.
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 Near the end of the day on Peace Prayer day everyone goes to the huge field and does a sacred healing walk. It starts in the center and a dirt path goes around in two and a half circles.
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 The crowd at peace prayer day doing the "Celestial Communications" hand motions along with the kids.
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 The kids singing along with Snatam. A song for peace. (Narayan there in the blue shirt)
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 The kids singing along with Snatam. A song for peace.
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Bhangra!
At the end of Peace Prayer day some of my friends led everyone in a Bhangra Dance. Eventually a big circle formed and people took turns showing dance moves in the circle.
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Little Amar Singh Busting out the Dance Moves
Here is on of my friends' son (Amar Singh) dancing away at peace prayer day. He loves dancing. I think he is about 3 years old.
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Drumming and Dancing to the African Rythms
A Local African Drummer group which played at Peace prayer day. Everyone was dancing and moving the the drums, it was great. Here is a short video clip from it.
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The Sun Shines on Everyone
At peace prayer day Snatam Kaur leading the The kids in a song "The Sun Shines on Everyone".
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 Snatam Kaur leading everyone in a meditation.
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 Hari Bhajan Kaur on stage doing a meditation with everyone.
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 Guruganesha Singh (part of the Spiri Voyage Group with Snatam Kaur) playing the Guitar.
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 Bibiji Inderjit Kaur (Wife of Siri Singh Sahib Habhajan Singh Khalsa Yogi ji)
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 Snatam Kaur holding Indian Feathers and leading everyone in a prayer, chanting words of "God" from all different religions (Hindu, Sikh, Muslim, Bhuddist, American Indian, Christian, Jewish).
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 Sat Pal Singh (Son in Law of Bibiji Inderjit Kaur), A man fro ma local Indian Tribe and Bibiji.
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 A sea of people participating in Peace Prayer day.
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 Snatam Kaur leading an interfaith prayer at Peace Prayer Day. Jathedhar from Patna Sahib (on left) was also there for the event.
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 Bibiji Inderjit Kaur (Wife of Siri Singh Sahib Habhajan Singh Khalsa Yogi ji) holding the Peace flame with othres. The runners along side her brought the flame from 25 miles away, running all the way up the mountain, in the New Mexico heat, which is no small task! This "peace" flame I think was orginally brought around the world and now burns continuously in an old church in Chimaya, NM. Every year as part of the interfaith peace prayer day, runners bring the flame to the event.
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 Peace Prayer Day Reggae Jam
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Off to the Jemez Mountains for a Week!
Well I'm off to the "Summer Solstice Camp" and probably won't be posting any blog entries till June 25th. There are no internet connections in the mountains so... can't do much about it. I might post some audio blog entries by cell phone. We'll see. The Summer Solstice camp has been happening every year since 1969! I have been going ever since I can remember. Actually I met my wife (Arjan Kaur) at the Winter solstice camp which happens in Florida. Around 1,000 people come to the camp every year from all over the world. Everyone camps out in their own tents out in the open. The day starts with Sadhana at 3:45AM with Japji Sahib, then 45 minutes of Yoga, then and hour of Meditations, followed by Gurdwara. During the day there are a variety of classes and workshops that you can participate in. It's hard to explain all the happenings because there is so much that goes on during that week. Basically it is a place for Spiritual renewal. Everyone comes there to learn and uplift themselves. I always notice a lot of personal change after the week. We'll see what happens this year! I'll be taking lots of pictures and will post them up after, so that you can see some of the happenings. The 20th Peace Prayer will also be happening today up on the mountain. See you all in a week! ps. If you want to be emailed whenever the blog is updated just put in your email in the area on the right which says "Email me when this page is updated"
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Quote of the Day
"Human beings are the only creatures that have the ability, through the power of the spoken word, to raise another person's consciousness to the level of Infinity. Communication is not meant to be a win or lose situation. It is meant to share what our spirit is, what Infinite Truth is, what God is." - SSS
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Quote of the Day
"I felt in need of a great pilgrimage so I sat still for three days and God came to me." - Bhagat Kabir
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 Teaching Narayan to Meditate.
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 Me working in the Garden. This is my stress release working out in the yard. It's very "grounding".
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 This celery sure is good with almond butter!
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 Narayan learning to take pictures. Whoops...wrong way!
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 Jaapa Kaur and me bowling as part of the Rotary Club.
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 Guruhukam Singh and Dharam's Birthday Break-feast
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 Narayan giving Dharam a big Birthday Hug
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Numa Narayan
For those of you who know of the " Numa Numa" craze that went around you'll recognize the song playing in this video. This is my brother Dharam Singh and my son Narayan awtching the video. I'm just testing out posting videos to see how it works for people.
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Photos Fixed in Archives
There was a problem with the photos not displaying in this blog from April and May. I fixed the problem so you can now see the photos from those months.
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 Snatam Kaur and the rest of the group have been traveling around on their " Celebrate Peace" tour. They had a concert in Santa Fe, New Mexico last night at the St. Francis Auditorium at the Museum of Fine Arts. It was really great! The music was divine and the museum was beautiful. Here are a few pictures from the concert. Their music is so great. If you haven't heard it yet you can listen to some in the SikhNet Gurbani Archive (look under Snatam Kaur).
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 A view from the back of the St. Francis Auditorium at the Museum of Fine Arts, where the concert was held.
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 Another picture of the kids
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 Kids from the crowd were called up on stage and they did a song together with hand movements.
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 During the concert there was one part where they told everyone to stand up, and showed a few simple Bhangra moves. Everyone followed along as the music and beats continued. It was great.
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 Haribhajan Kaur and Snatam Kaur singing...
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 Haribhajan Kaur and Snatam Kaur
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 As part of the concert there were people from different religions who were invited. They said a prayer for peace and lit a candle.
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 My mother, SatKirin Kaur and Thomas Barquee who is the energy and creative talent behind much of the music by Snatam Kaur's CDs and My mother's CDs.
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Hosting 20 foreign guests from all over the world.
 We hosted 20 foreign guests yesteday. They came as part of a program on Multi-culturalism in U.S. Society. The program is part of the Santa Fe Council on International Relations, division of the U.S. State Department International Visitors Bureau. Some of the countries they are from are Czech Republic, Egypt, Estonia, Jamaica, Tanzania, Vietnam and Netherlands. After this they came and had langar with the sangat.
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 Telling the guests about who we are...and about all our different organizations.
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 Izzat De Punjab Bhangra Troupe giving a display of Bhangra to the guests. They loved it! Everyone was clapping...and they were all taking lots of pictures.
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Travel to the UK? Elsewhere?
Do youth camps or Gurdwaras sponsor individuals to come to Sikh camps from other countries, To teach or to participate? In the past few months I have met (virtually and in person) so many different Sikhs from the UK. I have been feeling a real connection with so many of Sikhs who live there. And people keep saying how I should come and visit the UK (Which I would love to do). I really feel the need to network with other Sikhs. There is a lot to learn and to share with each other. So...if you know a way to help make this happen or just have some ideas, please do send me an email. I know international travel is expensive which can make it hard, but I am putting it out there to the infinite. I somewhat jokingly tell my friends... that the Guru is my travel agent, and that when he books my tickets than I go somewhere. So...we'll see if the time is right. :)
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Super Kung Fu Flips
 Prabhu just sent me another older picture from this winter that my brother Dharam took. Super Kung Fu Flips! Oh My Gosh! I think Narayan is following in these footsteps. You should see him do flips off the end of our sleigh bed onto the mattress. I always get nervous when I see him do this. He is so energetic. I have to "park" my fears of him getting hurt sometimes and just let him have fun. That is one things when you are young which I think can fade as you get older. Fearlessness. I remember doing all kinds of wild stuff when I was younger, that I would never attempt anymore. Part of it is fear from experiences that I had growing up. When you are young your mind is fresh without fears so it is easy to not think of consequences and "Just do it!". You also have a "fresh" body which can do amazing things. As we age it becomes harder if we don't take care of our body and exercise on a regular basis.
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Food, exercise and balancing your Life
This is another thing which Sikhs (and everyone) need to pay attention to. We need to pay attention to our body, mind AND spirit. There has to be a balance. Sometimes people get so into the spiritual/intellectual aspects of Sikhism and forget their body, and end up with all kinds of health problems. Normal Punjabi diet is pretty heavy in oils/ghee, so if you don't do some good exercise, fogettaboutit, your arteries are going to be clogged, you'll be overweight, and probably have other health problems. If you are ot in the fields farming then your probably ok, but knowing most of the Sikhs these days, they are not farming in the fields. For me...I grew up practicing Yoga, meditation and eating very healthy and wholesome food. To have a clear mind as a Sikh you have to take care of your body. As Sikhs we don't use intoxicants and drugs for this very reason (clear mind). Food can be an intoxicant too and cloud your mind by making you "heavy" and wasting your valuable energy. Have you ever noticed that when you eat certain foods you feel really tired after? Digesting food can use a lot of your energy (Especially if you eat meat which can take up to 72 hours to digest). There is a saying "eat little and sleep little". Eating too much can really drain your energy. So much of eating is just social and emotional, rather than true hunger. For me Yoga is a tool which allows me to stretch my body, stay flexible and charge up my body with energy. Some Sikhs are "anti-yoga" and probably don't really even know what it is. I just want to say that there are many tools available to us to take care of ourselves, and we should not limit ourselves. Take a chance...try something new, eplore! See for yourself. Yoga may not be for you, but it is a good tool that many (including myself) have found very helpfull to stay healthy. Diet is huge topic. I don't know where to start. When I go to the grocery store and see the junk that people load into their carts, I am amazed that they are alive. It's amazing how much of a "beating" the body can take. When I travel I see some of the foods that Punjabis eat...and have to admit that most don't eat very healthy. A big part of this is not really Punjabi at all. It is just that we are not all educated on what is good and bad for your body. The "healthy" eating that we always see on TV and in magazines is so Fad based and driven by companies trying to sell products. (Low carbs, low fat, etc). Honestly most people don't know what healthy is. When Yogi Bhajan came to the USA he taught us yoga, meditation, about Sikhi, but he also taught a lot about healing your body through foods. Eating healthy foods that nourish your body, rather than drain it. Our body has such a capacity to heal itself. Simple so called "home remedies" can do so much for you. In India so much of the ancient healing techniques seem to be lost. Western medicine has taken hold. Everyone is ready for a quick fix for everything from being overweight to being depressed. Just go to your doctor and get a pill to "fix" just about any problem. India has such gems and I have watched as western influence has changed it so much. Just like Sikhi...I think there will be a revitalization, when people realize what they already have in their culture and are losting. Who knows though how long this will take to happen. I know from experience that sometimes things have to get so bad (either health wise, stress, emotional, sikhi, etc) for people to make a change. We are motivated by fear and pain. When everything is going well...you take things for granted and may not take care of things. So...for many of us, we go through some very low points in our life which then sparks the drive to be a better Sikh...or take care of health problems, eat better, etc. So...eat light fresh foods (not all the processed junk), get out and shake your booty (AKA: exercise). Learn more about eating healthy. Enjoy the Gift, the body temple which God has given us for this short time.
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The Twins...
 This is a classic picture of three sets of Sikh twins from when they were pretty young. They are all friends of mine. This was from Childrens campt which we have every summer here in New Mexico. The names are from left to right: Prabhu, Hari, Lakhmi Chand, Siri Chand, Siri Mandir, and Hari Mandir. You can see Prabhu and Hari more recently in the picture further down on this page where they are doing flips and look like they are up-side down. Lakhmi Chand and Siri Chand Singh you can see them also in the picture further down on the page beating the drum during a Nagar Kirtan.
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 The writing of Guru Gobind Singh (Mul Mantra)
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 Cherdikala Jatha playing kirtan at Siri Harmandir Sahib. Harimandir Jot singh, Sada Sat Simran Singh and Jagat Guru Singh. These guys are very inspiring. They have been living in Amritsar for quite a few years studying Gurbani Kirtan. They also travel around and participate in various Sikh youth camps. It's always inspiring seeing other Sikh youth doing good things. (Especially when they are your friends and classmates)
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"If you want to refrain from something, refrain when you are young. Youth is the time of life when you can do anything. It is during the time of old age that the bloody wolf declares, 'Now I have become vegetarian' because after losting his teeth he can't hunt anything." - SSS
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Sikhs Ambulance Drivers - Espanola EMS
 In our town of Espanola just about all the EMS (Emergency Medical Service) are Sikhs. They drive the ambulance around helping people who get in accidents, or who need to be quickly taken to the hospital. Sometimes when there is a party you will see a few ambulances in front of the house, and neighbors ask if someone is hurt? But it is just them on duty waiting for an emergency call, but enjoying the party. I posted this picture because I thought it was interesting and want to show how Sikhs with full turban and beard CAN be out there in the mainstream. It wasn't easy, since I do remember hearing something many years ago about the hostpitals not wanting to allow a beard, but that was dealt with. The key is to be strong and maintain your values. Too many times I hear about people who cut their hair to fit in. I know it is hard, but such is the life as a Sikh of the Guru. We have to be strong and face these challenges head on. We can support eachother to make it easier. ps. The above picture is of Dharampal Singh and GuruDham Singh. They had just got an emergency call...when I was talking the picture earlier today.
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Thank you everyone!
Wow... I don't know what to say but thank you. Yesterday I sent out an email to many of the "SikhNet family", and ever since I have been getting such beautiful heart-felt messages of thanks for the work we do at SikhNet. It has been quite overwhelming to personally hear from so many of you and hear all the different experiences, and words of appreciation. I have been replying to emails non stop since yesterday, trying to keep up. I asked for a personal connection, and that is what I got!Sikhs sent emails came from just about everywhere! Here are a few of the places: - Johannesburg, South Africa
- Siri Lanka
- Pakistan
- Brazil
- China (Guangzhou)
- Lithuania
- Indonesia
- Australia
- Canada
- United Kingdom
- Chile
- Usa
- India
There are Sikhs in all parts of the world...and of all Cultures! I even got emails of thanks from many people who were not Sikhs and just were inspired about the Sikh lifestyle. For me this is a blessing and a gift to be a part of this all. It's definitely not a popularity contest to show "how smart" or "how I am such a good Sikh". I am very clear in my purpose, to help inspire, educate, and open people's minds. I feel the winds of change and want to be a part of it. I think this is just the beginning. There is so much to be done. The Guru works through us all in many ways. It is up to each of us to figure out what gift God gave us, and use that to serve others. I know it is not me who is doing this. I'm just a pipe. Just as the pipe is not the water, but merely a channel for the water. Ok, enough of the esoteric talk. I really am very "down to earth", but sometimes ramble on when I am in a certain mood. Again.... thank you! I love hearing from everyone.
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 The Panj Piaray leading the Sangat in the Nagar Kirtan. Some people email me from time to time saying...women can't be in the Panj. I think that is ridiculous since Khalsa has no gender...and the "Panj" is any 5 Sikhs of the Guru...not any 5 men of the Guru. Women are the foundation...and have not been getting the respect that they are due, ESPECIALLY within some of the Sikh communities. When I last went with my family to Harmandir Sahib in Amritsar, after Asa Di Var they were giving the "panj" prashad..and I held my cupped hands up to receive it. The sevadar gave me parshad. My wife had her hands cupped ready to receive the Guru's prashad...but the sevadhar would not give it to her because she was a woman. I then took half of my parshad and gave to her. The sevadhar and another person then tried to lecture me that I couldn't do that. I hope those who think like this can open their minds and change these practices. There are so many double standards. Preaching equality of men and women in Sikhism..but in practice dominating them. Ok...that's enough of that...I guess I'm just venting. Let us honor and truly include our Khalsa sisters as Guru Gobind Singh would have and stop these practices which don't allow Sikh women to participate in seva and other aspects of the Gurdwaras. Have you ever noticed that at Harmandir Sahib women are not allowed to do Kirtan and do certain seva? It's like a boys club. What kind of example does this show the world? I admit that this is mostly in India, but I think it is important for people to be aware of and make a change in things.
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 Guru Granth Sahib being led by the Panj Piaray
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 Nagar Kirtan...
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 This is Guru Jot who is our newest energetic Singh at SikhNet.com. Guru jot is full of ideas! Him and Satguru Singh normally respond to emails and do most of SikhNet's "customer service".
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 Little Narayan...wanting to fit in his Papa's Turban. When I get home from a long day and take off my turban he is quick to grab it and put it on. I always get a mischievous smile from him.
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 My friends Lakhmi Chand and Siri Chand Singh, playing the Big Nagara Drum during a Nagar Kirtan. When we play ultimate frisbee...watch out...they are fast!
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 My brother Dharam Singh, who graduated from Miri Piri Academy in Amritsar a year ago. He is now living and working here in Espanola.
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 The gold dome on top of our Gurdwara in Espanola, New Mexico
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Very simple really: - When kirtan is being done, the sangat sings along as often as it can.
- When the 'ardaas' (standing final prayer) is done, a vibrant sangat enthusiastically says 'WAHEGURU' when Waheguru is invoked by the 'Ardasia' (one doing the ardas). In a formality sangat you barely hear a murmur at that point. Attend a western dharma sangat gurdwara and you will know what I mean! Simple observations by my daughters! At one gurdwara program, my daughter turned round with a mock look of indignation and said - "Dad, the ladies are singing louder than me!" and smiled. At another program she said - "We might as well be singing in a morgue!"
I was just reading Dya Singh's monthly Diaries and thought the above observation was very true. Sometimes things are so obvious and when someone points it out you think to yourself....."Why didn't I notice that?". So...the next time you go to Gurdwara take notice and see which category your Sangat falls in. If it is the "formality sangat", see what you can do to inspire change. It may be as simple as YOU being the change. One person's energy and enthusiasm can effect the whole sangat.
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Quotes of the Day
"Whatever you are, you are. Be proud of it." "Do not seek approval from others, see approval from yourself" - SSS
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 Taking Siri Guru Granth Sahib ji to his room at the end of Gurdwara after Sukasn. In our Gurdwara there is a strong feminine energy. Sikh women from the sangat play a very prominent role and pretty much run the Gurdwara.
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Weekend Fun....Monday...Thoughts and Ramblings....
Ok...it's Sunday night and the weekend is pretty much gone. I had some good fun this weekend. Though... because of this blog I haven't really been getting the break from the computer that I used to. It's been fun though sharing with everyone. Ever since I started the blog I have been thinking about my life...Sikhs...Spirituality much more. It's easy for me to get caught up in the day to day things that I am working on or that have to get done. Some times I can loose sight of my purpose. Having an "audience" to get personal with is making me think more about things. This morning I went to pick up a tent from the shed at my old house and found some of my notes from pre-SikhNet days when I was working on a book for the youth. Actually before I dabbled in web stuff...I was writing a book of tools and information to help youth deal with all the changes they they undergoe growing up and integrating in this modern world (Drugs, relationships/dating, sex, meditation, parents, religion, peer-presusure, spirituality, etc). I went through so much stuff and learnt a lot from those experiences and knew that it would be benefitial to share that with others. A book from the youth...for the youth. In any case when I came back the the USA in 1994 and got connected on the Internet....I knew that was a better medium for connecting to youth. How many youth read educational books these days?? Everyone is on the internet. Anyways...it was fun reading some of the material and remembering those days. To this day...even though SikhNet has been doing a great job...I feel that I have not really been able to do what I originally set out to do. We have many services on SikhNet...but I really wanted to do more with the Youth. It has been something I have been trying to focus in on for a few years now...but with the few of us that maintain SikhNet something always comes up and we don't get to it. One thing that I have learnt though is that everything comes at the right time. Guruji is guiding everything...and when the time is right we will have more resources (people, money etc) to be able to work on these projects. I really want to travel more and interface with other Sikh youth. I sometimes feel disconnected from the rest of the Sikh community in our little town of Espanola. Whenever I meet other Sikhs while traveling, something always comes out of those interactions. It's like building a network of friends with likeminded goals. It really does make a difference having that personal connection and actually meeting and talking to someone. You may read these words...but actually seeing and talking to someone gives you a different relation and understanding of who the person is and what they are about. With SikhNet I envision virtual sevadhars all over the world helping build and maintain SikhNet. In order to grow this vision I see building a network of like minded people who have skills to share and are committed enough to make the time to participate. Everyone is busy these days... and for most $$$ and our day to day things tend to take priority. I look forward to the day when more people's lives revolve.... not around their job and happenings...but God...and connecting with their soul. People will be much happier, and have fuller lives on that day.
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 Who is this guy?? Ok...it's me. Arjan took this just before heading off to Gurdwara.
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 You gotta love this kid. Children's innocence and their smiles/laughter just melts me.
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 Smile! A rare picture when I am not behind the camera taking the picture.
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Ok...as you can probably tell... my brain juices are flowing and many thoughts are coming out. The previous post made me think more about some things relating to Sikhs and our direction. When I think about Sikhs and the direction that we are going, I remember my days of school in India. One thing which I noticed was that the whole orientation of Indian families was very focused on studying really hard and going into a career that made a lot of money (doctors, lawyers, computer professionals, etc). It all seemed to revolve around worldly success and financial goals. I think this priority has left a big part out and has slowly skewed our direction and identity as Sikhs. I think it is great to be prosperous, and I see nothing bad with making a lot of money in some job. However, what I see is emptiness for many people because it is not balanced. The spiritual side of things is left as a lesser priority (if given any attention at all). So what we see now is lots of financially prosperous Sikhs, but who are poor spiritually. This direction I think has lead to less and less understanding and practice of Sikhi. When the parents stop practicing being Sikhs the kids don't get the connection to the Guru and thus the cycle has started. Slowly with each generation a little (or lot) of their connection to their roots as a Sikh is lost. Ask yourself: What does it mean to me to be a Sikh? Spend some time to think about this. I think everyone should ask that question. Is it wearing a turban and going to Gurdwara? Is it thinking the Sikh Gurus were great and having a Guru Nanak picture on your wall? We each have a different answer depending on our experiences and how we relate to the Guru. I was raised with the Guru being the center of my life. Everything that we did as a family revolved around being a spiritually conscious people trying to live the teachings of Nanak. I'm not trying to put myself on a pedestal and declare myself any better off than anyone else. I'm just sharing that I was raised with a very different focus. Money and financial success was never the main objective in my life. Everything that I did with love, service, and devotion gave me such inner satisfaction, that no amounts of money could give. To this day... everything that I really needed has come to me. I have an amazing wife who continues to inspire me with her devotion to the Guru. I have a beautiful energetic son who is really strong. I have a great house, cars, live around great people. Whenever there is something that we need....extra money come from somewhere. It is amazing! Sometimes my wife gets worried about money...and I remind her, "When have we ever had a problem with being taken care of?". When you give your head to the Guru he takes care of all your affairs. I can vouch for that! "There are two ways of living in this world; the way of worry and the way of relaxation. If you worry, you have to concentrate to imagine, and it becomes physical work. But if you turn your mind to the Universal Mind, then things will come to you" - Yogi Bhajan So...you can have a fat wallet...but if that is at the expense of not being happy and not living as the Gurus taught...then for me it is not worth it. All that is accumilated on this earth definitely will not go with you when you die. It is so easy to get caught up with Maya of this world. My point of all this is that we as parents have to work harder at living the teachings of the Sikh Gurus. Setting an example that our children can learn from. We have to put more stress on the lifestyle and sacrifices that our previous generations made, so that we could be here as Sikhs today. Making your kids do banis or go to Gurdwara doesn't cut it. They need to understand why they should be a Sikh and what is has to offer. They need an experience that helps them feel what is is all about. Being a Sikh is not an intellectual thing. Explanations will only go so far. I am a father and this very challenge is on my shoulders too as I raise my son. I am definitely not perfect. I am constantly going through my personal internal battles trying to maintain a disciplined lifestyle as a Sikh. It's not easy for anyone. All I know is that when I am disciplined and have a regular Sadhana that my life has soo much more joy and things flow easier. Sikhs have always faces hardship and challenge really well. We don't have the same hardships as they did in the days of the Gurus. We have a whole different challenge which is mostly internal, within ourselves and our minds. Are you ready to take the challenge? I'll end with a quote to think about.... "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. . . . Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, to be gorgeous, talented, and fabulous. Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God within us. And as we let our light shine, we consciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne WilliamsonPs. If you want to discuss this topic, I posted this message also on the SikhNet discussion forum.
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 At the end of Gurdwara while Sukasn in starting the kids love to stand in front of the Guru with swords...and then when the Guru is brought to the back to be put in his room they walk in front escorting the Granthi and the Guru. (Both are SikhNet.com kids. Narayan...is my son...which you probably guessed by now after seeing a million pictures of him. The other boy is Sahib Singh who is Sat Guru Singh's son. When you send an email to SikhNet...there is a good chance he is the one that sends you a response.
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 After the Guru is brought to it's room they are finishing Sukasn and the kids stand "guard".
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 Another picture of my friend Guru Darbar and his beautiful new born son. Such a proud father! A Very different look than the picture of him that I posted on friday with the fish eye lens. This is the REAL guy here.
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 Cute little puppy...that came to Gurdwara. No...it didn't go inside for matha tek! Just running around on the grass.
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 Every Sunday after Gurdwara a lot of us go to the local high school football field and play a good game of Ultimate Frisbee. Have you ever played it? It's pretty fun. We've been playing for ages (rain or snow). Well...I showed up late so was able to get this picture. Normally Dr. Kartar calls around rallying up the troops to encourage more people to come, but today....no call. I showed up and there were so many people there today. There were many of the kids who recently came back from school in Amritsar (Miri Piri Academy) and others who came for some of the summer events that happen in the next few weeks. Anyways...this is my only real sweat excercise during the week so I make the best out of it. Typing on the computer and thinking doesn't count. (Kind of like the guy who said he eats vegetables...and when I asked what kind he said Patatoes....AKA: in the form of Patato Chips. Ok...I've digressed... Ulitimate frisbey, fun..lot's of running and good excercise. Come play with us! You'll have a good time and I'm sure be out of breath in no time. Whew!
Posted by Gurumustuk Singh | |
 After a long and tiring game of Ultimate Frisbee a few of the guys resting on the bleechers. We had some great games today! Hey...and Ultimate frisbee is no sissy game. It's some major exercise. If you get tired playing American Footbal....fogettaboutit.... that is sitting around if you ask me compared to the Ultimate frisbee games.
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 Taking turns throwing eachother up in the air. Just kidding, actually...he drank some of Willy Wonka's soda that makes you light and levitate and they are trying to pull him down so that it doesn't burn up in the atmosphere going towards the sky and sun.
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 Wow...! Headspins? Levitation? Hahaha... no... double back flips, though this is only one of the frames that I took. Looks kind of funny when you just see this one. They are in fact upside down. Who are these guys? My buddies, the famous twins, the two and only...Hari and Prabhu Singh. They always have energy during our Ultimate Frisbee games for flips.
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Quote of the Day
"Love is self-sacrifice. Love is the experience within one's self of one's own selflessness; that's why love is God. No one can explain love, because love is ecstasy. Love is the essence of ever-longing devotion. Love does not change. If love changes, it is not love." - SSS
Posted by Gurumustuk Singh | |
 Narayan the Lion Singh. He was getting really into the paint crayons and started drawing on his own face. It turned him into a lion, because every few minutes I would hear a roar and this little baby lion would come and attack me. Ahhh!
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 Saturday evening barbeque cookout! Every once and while we bring out the barbeque in the back yard for some tasty food. We normally cut up all kinds of vegetables, tofu and vegi burgers, brush on Arjan's special sauce and cook away. This is definitely an American thing! (notice the grass in the back ground. It is slowly coming up! A few more weeks and hopefully it will fill in and we can play games outside too. Badminton Anyone?
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 Yummy, Yummy! The food is almost done!
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 Ram Rattan Kaur getting ready to draw on her face with paint crayons.
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Here is a talk given to the women at KWTC (Khalsa Womens Traning Camp - which is held every year in Espanola, NM.)"You all have to realize what a marriage is. Marriage is not an easy path. Marriage is a life. Marriage is not a ceremony,marriage is God. Marriage has not been understood by the Western world at all. It was understood by the Eastern world but it is forgottenthere too. So at this time, the institution of marriage is in total limbo. People do not know what to do with it; people do notknow what to do without it. So what we have found out via the media is that marriage then divorce and divorce then marriageis a continuous process. But actually if we all understand what marriage is, then perhaps we can do better. Marriage is an institution of willingness, inwhich two identities want to amalgamate. It’s an amalgamation of two egos to bring out a neutral new personality. What is the advantage of it and what is the disadvantage of it ? When this amalgamation happens then divine power in thepsyche starts to function. Without that, people are individuals and they will only yell and scream at each other and goodnesswill never come in that home. It is a granted fact. Marriage bring happiness. It’s an amalgamation of two psyches. And when these two psyches are amalgamated, neither oneis an individual. There is no question of he and she. That’s it. There is no loss, there is no gain and there is no bank account. "This is what my husband said" does not exist. "I will ask my wife" does not exist. If there is no confidence that the husbandcan speak on behalf of his wife and the wife can speak on behalf of her husband, they have not yet married. If this is thecommitment, that the husband cannot commit on behalf on his wife and the wife cannot commit on behalf of her husband, theydo not know what commitment is. To make an alloy, you take two elements and put them together. The alloy cannot be separated. You can boil it, you canform the alloy into a liquid, you can totally burn it, but once it becomes an alloy, it will totally keep its own quality, ownquantity, own weight, own molecules, own electrons, protons and neutrons, and own combination. Whatever made brassdoesn’t matter. Brass has its own faculty, own quality, own weight and own property. And that is what love is, that is what marriage is, that is what life is, that is what good luck is. There are no two opinions aboutit; when a male and a female merge together. That’s why we do it before God. That's why we do it before Guru." -- Siri Singh Sahib Ji, KWTC July 15, 1984
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 The doctors at the health fair buy hundreds of helmets and give them out to the children for free. They are trying to promote safety and encouraging helmet use when riding bikes and doing other things like that.
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 Narayan, Gurudev and Prabhjot
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 Prabhjot smiling about his helmet barely fitting over his turban. I think we are going to have to cut a little hole for the Jooda.
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 Talking to the kids....
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 Here is Arjan. The Espanola hospital has an annual health fair...and GRD Health Center had a booth there to let people know about their service (Chiropractic, Massage, Accupuncture, Nutrition, etc).
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 Narayan all muddy and wet from playing in the irrigation ditch. Do you miss being a kid? So much fun!
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Get emailed when this blog is updated
On the right hand side (after the links) you will see a box where you can enter your email and get notified when I update this blog. You'll be sent an initial email with a link to confirm it.
Posted by Gurumustuk Singh | |
It's Friday and the weekend is here...
Well... the week is done and it's now time for fun and relaxing weekend. I was going through some of my old pictures and saw some funny ones. We can't be serious all the time, can we? So...hope you get some smiles from them. I've been enjoying doing this blog. It has been making me think a lot my life and being a Sikh. I hope you are finding it interesting too. Please do write comments in the blog. It is nice to hear what you think.
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 My good Friend Guru Darbar who is always good for a laugh, getting way to close to the fish eye lens. I love it. Lot's of fun.
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 Tweety Bird? You gotta love the fish eye lens.
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 Here is a picture of my little buddy Prabhjot Singh. I love this picture. You can see others on Sikhpal.com every time you load the home page.
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 During the 1999 Baisakhi celebrations in Anandpur Sahib I saw this Truck. It is great. It's the Super Fast Shaktiman truck.
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 Sat Pal Singh, working hard at SikhNet. He used to work at SikhNet and is now living in Los Angeles.
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 This is a picture of me at my desk in Brooklyn, NY. on my computer in November 1995 starting the SikhNet website. Back then it didn't have the name "SikhNet" yet. You can see the old page from way back then
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 An old silly picture of my brother Dharam. This picture was from the month that SikhNet was started Nov 1995.
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 Later on in 1996 I moved to Espanola, NM and started working at Sun & Son (a local Sikh computer company). On the left you can see a tape/cd player, microphone and mixer. This was the start of SikhNet radio. While I was working I would play different music and sometimes get on the mic. On fridays I used to have a little fun with some Bhangra music.
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Everybody has God's light and it must be lit by a person’s own discipline. And the glass to keep it lit and shining should be kept by the person's own courage, strength and grit. I believe it. I believe this is the love. I believe everybody has the chance to love one’s soul and every soul has the right to shine and every shine has to bring light and brightness, beauty and bountifulness to all, generation after generation. You love your children? You do. They are beautiful. Isn’t that innocent soul in you also your life child ? Have you kissed the soul? Have you hugged the soul? Have you communicated with the soul in the morning at the ambrosial hours when there is absolutely no disturbance? Sadhna is nothing but where a disciplined one, the love, talks to one’s own soul. is nothing but where one cleans his own mind. Sadhna is nothing but where one prepares for the day to become kind and compassionate for everyone, including the enemies. If you think you are poor, you are poor because you do not communicate with your soul, the source of prosperity, the source of reality. If you think you are desperate, you are desperate because you have no Sadhna. Desperation, depression, and a feeling of destitution comes only to those who have no discipline or Sadhna. Only a house which is not cleaned looks dirty and the mind which is not cleaned, stinks. sadhna is the most selfish act of every act, because it is a self-cleansing. Cleanliness is Godliness. It is good to wear good clothes, look good, be bright, beautiful. But when you want to be blissful and bountiful, you have to have a clear mind, a mind through which your soul, your spirit can shine. When you stand, take a stand, and stand tall. Walk tall and stand by the strength of your soul. Not the strength of your intellect, intelligence and your cowardice. If you want to speak to anybody, to deal with anything, to have any relationship, just have relationship by the strength of your soul. Otherwise you will miss the goal of life.
Posted by Gurumustuk Singh | |
This is an amusing article that I saw on Ash's Blog from one of his friends. You can also read it in the SikhNet Discussion Forum
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 My sweet wife Arjan and me last year at the Summer Solstice event in the mountains above Espanola
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1979 in Amritsar
 This is a picture of myself (in the middle) and two other Sikh kids holding swords. This was before or after a gatka presentation. I distinctly remember all the weapons and one Sikh spinning a Chakar; but back then they had real metal blades on the end (not the wooden balls). I have some pictures somewhere. Will have to dig them up.
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 Another picture from 1979 in Amritsar of me and Bhai Baksheesh Singh
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Here are some thoughts relating to this Discussion Topic posted on SikhNet.There is definitely an element of this, however much of it has to do with cultural differences. I am a so called "Western Sikh", though I am a mix of east and west since I went to school in India for 10+ years. In my experience the cultural differences and some of the close-mindedness has kept the integration from happening. However in the recent years I have seen some very positive change. Part of it is people getting over the whole "yoga" thing which myself and many other western Sikhs practice. There are so many things which trigger a reaction in Punjabis because of historical and cultural things. Yoga is automatically assumed and looked at as a "Hindu" practice and something that the Gurus were against. Most have no idea what it is and know very little about it. I would say...Before criticizing...Learn more and actually try it! You might surprise yourself. We don't have these issues...So we look at it, try it...See the benefits and reap the rewards without getting hung up on these other things. Another example is something like a statue or picture representing a Guru. From the Punjabi perspective this is considered a big "no-no" and potential idol worship. However since we don't have that background...we just take these representations as inspirational images (not as an item of worship). I think we are coming into the Sikh path with a clean slate, learning from scratch so it is very different. I also think that it would benefit all our communities to mingle more. It has been one of my goals for a long time to find ways to bridge the gaps between the growing non-Punjabi Sikhs and the rest of the Sikhs. I think the youth are the key here (in both communities). My parents generation and the older Punjabi generation are from very different cultures, whereas the youth are more on the same page. It easier to relate and be open to new things. When it comes down to it...it really has to do with people wanting to meet and have a relationship with other sikhs. It's like when there is someone new in your community, it takes an extra effort to welcome them and say hello. It's easier to take the easy route and just stay within your circle of friends and what is familiar. Also I think when people see "western" sikhs there is a certain curiosity or unknown element which makes them feel very different. Your not quite sure what to make of them. I think a lot of people don't really know much about "western" sikhs, so there is that part which keeps people at a distance. It's kind of the same as a "John Doe" might see any Sikh and keep his distance because he is not sure what to make of the person with a Turban. This will change in time as we get to know each other and get over each other's hangups. I think the outlook is positive. It's just a matter of time and people opening to change. Well...that is it for tonight...it's already way too late.
Posted by Gurumustuk Singh | |
 I was just browsing through pages on SikhNet and found an article that I created a few years ago for the Jakara youth event. I thought it might be interesting to some. The key to them is "Action", meaning actually doing something. It is too easy to just do the easy thing (nothing) and just let the river of life take you where it goes. Better to take control of your life and have experiences! Try things out. Anways, they are just ideas. Feel free to add comments if you have more to add to the list.
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Quote of the Day
"Ignoring your soul is ignoring your Godhead; as a rose has an aroma, so you have a soul; as a mirror has an image, so you have a soul. Ignoring your soul is ignoring your total capacity." - SSS
Posted by Gurumustuk Singh | |
Do you ever wonder where Sikhi is going these days?
I look around at my fellow Sikhs and see less and less people living the Sikh Lifestyle. On one side I see many who were brought up in a Sikh family but don't really seem to have any real relationship with what it means to be a Sikh. Maybe they go to Gurdwara from time to time, but that is the extent of it. On the other hand there are the "Gursikhs" who on the surface look like Sikhs but seem so narrow-minded and disconnected with the teachings of the Gurus. They are quick to criticize you and tell you what is right and wrong according to their understanding of Sikhi. It’s as if they are trying to prove that they are better people. I always have thought of the Sikh way of life as a “lifestyle” and not a rigid religion. The Gurus taught about openness and acceptance and not getting caught up in rituals. So much of what we do as Sikhs has lost it’s meaning to many and it has become a blind ritual. Everything becomes black and white…rather than being open-minded and looking deeper into the meaning of things. Living as a Sikh to me is not about “X” rules that you have to follow. People get so into black and white rules, which in the end can divide and separate rather than include and unify. If you do “X” than you are bad, or are not a Sikh. How about getting “Ex-communicated”? I laugh when I hear stuff like this. It is between a Sikh and his Guru not someone else to define who is a Sikh and who cannot be a Sikh. When you look at some of the fundamentals of Sikhism (like equality of gender)…I always hear the lines that people say boasting that Sikhism is so great and has all these principles, however in practice these end up being ideals which to a large degree are not practiced by many. Its no wonder people are not staying as Sikhs. I don’t think Sikhi is lost…but think that it is in transition. I have found that in my personal life that sometimes things have to get really bad in order for me to get motivated enough to make a change. So, in relation to Sikhi I think there will be a renaissance. As the older generation passes on and the new generation of Sikhs grow, many of the old rituals and practices will fall away and Sikhi will flourish. Ultimately what helps guide me as a Sikh is really being open minded, and seeing all perspectives. Not being quick to judge someone. We have to be open and welcoming. Our judgments and close-mindedness is what repels our youth. So, the next time you see someone doing something that you don’t agree with, think twice before judging him or her. Try to look at things from their perspective and be compassionate. You don’t have to agree, but at least allow them to have their opinion, rather than get caught up in trying to define it as right or wrong. Have you ever noticed that when you are irritated or having a hard time in your life that you see negative things in other people (which most of the time is a reflection of yourself)? This understanding helps give me compassion and understanding towards others. So, when I see someone being hurtful, or making fun of someone I can be understanding, and know that this person is this way because of something in their life that they are unhappy about. This awareness also gave me a clearer picture of myself. So when I catch myself being critical and negative about things I can look deeper and understand that something is going on within me. So… I guess I’ll end here for today. There are so many thoughts and it is sometimes hard to crystallize just one point. As I get time I’ll write some more and get into some ideas for solutions. I always tell people…if you are going to complain about something than you had better be a part of the solution. We have enough complainers. What we need are people that are willing to talk the talk and make the changes they wish to see. “Be the change you wish to see”.
Posted by Gurumustuk Singh | |
Quotes of the Day
When you are happy, take it as a blessing of God. When you are unhappy, take it as a test of God." "What is God? Is He six hands? Ten heads? Is He a matter? Is He a body? No, He is cosmic energy; it prevails through everybody. All that we can feel, can know, or can imagine is God. His identity is Nam because He is Truth; that is why we call Him Sat Nam. He is yin-yang; He is positive and negative. He is male, female. He is the Creator and his creation. That is why we say Sat Nam." - SSS
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Akal Takhat - June 6th (Today)
Today is June 6th, which has special significance to Sikhs. On June 6, 1984 military tanks stormed the Golden Temple, thousands of Sikhs were killed, and the Akal Takhat, the supreme seat of religious authority for the Sikhs martyred itself in order to awaken a sleeping spiritual nation. SikhNet has posted some articles of interest which you might find interesting: Every 6th of the month we have a special Gurdwara in the evening to commemorate the Akal Takhat and all those who died in order to uphold and protect our Dharma. Aside from the actual Gurdwara program Shanti Kaur normally tells an inspirational story relating to Sikh history. You can hear a few of them here: 1, 2, 3. At the Gurdwara everyone who comes brings some type of food or drink which becomes the langar. It is a medley of foods that the sangat has lovingly made. Anywhere from Pizza, pasta, juices, rice, daals, soups, teas, cookies, cakes, it's all there. It's quite an experience!
Posted by Gurumustuk Singh | |
Quotes of the Day
"Without realizing who you are, happiness cannot come to you." "The core of unhappiness lies when the self does not recognize the self; and the core of happiness is when the self recognizes the self." - SSS
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 Today this is where I plan to relax. Put my feet up on the side of the chair swing, grab a book and kick back to the sounds of the trickling fountain. Ahhhhh.....nice
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Weekend Happenings
Well...this weekend was so much fun. It's been a while since we really got out and did some stuff. The past months have been so many different house projects. Now that I am relatively done with all my spring garden projects and the grass is growing pretty well...now all I have to do is just water and wait. It was Arjan's birthday so we did all kinds of things. Went to Sadhana and the Akandh Path Bhogh, then Arjan wen't horse riding, had a pancake breakfast with some friends at our house, squeezed in a quick nap, then off to Santa Fe to go swimming and play some basket ball. We worked up a good appetite and then off to eat. Dharam's mother (Wah) was in town from Los Angeles. She is a musician and tours around doing concerts. She had a concert that day so we all went to that. It was a great day. Sometimes we get so caught up in every day things that we "have to do" that we forget to get out and have fun. We have to do it more often! After the long Saturday, sunday was pretty much just relax day.
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 Arjan's 31st birthday was on Saturday so Me and my brother Dharam made a super pancake breakfast for her and a few friends. Yummy!
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 One of Arjan's favorite things is riding horses. She has been taking riding lessons at a place which is conveniently right down the street and she loves it. I stopped by on Sunday to watch..since I had not seen her ride. Narayan came along with me and ended up munching on pistachios most of the time watching arjan race by.
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 Cruising the hood....
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 Arjan horse riding on Sunday
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Friday is Here Once Again!
It's Friday evening...and if you feel like I do (tired and ready to have a relaxing weekend), then go to your fridge, get a nice cool glass of juice or ice tea, take a few long deep breaths, relax, and let what happened this week go out of your mind. I sure am going to do that as soon as I get out of the office. Any minute now my wife (Arjan) is probably going to be calling me wondering when I'm coming home. It's a whole different life when you are married and have children. No more 16 hour work days. I love being married, it helps balance my life so that I don't overextend myself. By the way... Arjan's birthday is tommorow (Saturday, Jun 4th). We are going to do some fun stuff tommorow. It's Her 31st Birthday! I married an "older" woman (9 months older than me). She takes really good care of me and Narayan. I wish everyone had such a great wife as Arjan. *Ring* - *Ring* - Well, There is the phone call :) - Dinner at a friends house. So...I guess that is it for this journal entry. See you another day..... and be sure to do something fun, cause otherwise monday will come and you'll be starting the week all over, so why not start it with a relaxed body and a smile!
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Welcome SikhNet'ers
I've been doing this blog for about two months now...but just posted a link up on the SikhNet home page. So, if you just came from SikhNet.com then WELCOME! I hope you find something of interest here. If not...try back another day. I add to the blog a few times a week, so really it depends on what is happening. Sometimes there are interesting things and other times not. I love photography and I love my family, so much of the blog ends up being pictures, rather than words. Keep in mind that this blog is my personal journal. Views and opinions expressed here do not necessarily represent the views of SikhNet. Are you a blogger or know of another Sikh doing a blog? Do you have something interesting to share? You can easily start your own blog. All you need is time and a computer. Start your own blog 
I want to thank my friend Ashvinder Singh for encouraging me to start a blog, and showing how easy it is. The hard part is putting interesting stuff online on a regular basis. You can also read Ashvinder's blog at: http://www.ashsingh.com
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Meditation Leads to Prosperity
"Let me teach you about meditation. When you meditate, the entire garbage of the subconscious starts floating. Meditation is not pleasant. Meditation cannot be pleasant, otherwise it is not meditation. You are doing something else. Meditation is just cleaning the house. Now, you have a Hoover vacuum going on, and you say there was no noise? There is no dust? How is that possible? Whenever you are going to clean the house, you are going to see the whole thing upside down, and when you are going to release the subconscious, you are going to find not only dirt of this life, but of lives and lives and lives and lives and lives Meditation is a must process. It is an act of selfishness which a person must do. What will it give you? Unpleasant labor. It's a labor of sweat. Now, what happens in meditation? When you meditation with the gurumantra, it must have respect..... it must have reverence. There are two things which must be there. When you sit and meditate, your mind goes beserk. It is a wrestling match. Give your life a chance. One tenth of the time belongs to the Guru. I'm not asking you anything or judging you, I'm not telling you anything. But one thing which I have learned, and am telling you, Guru as my guarantee: there is nothing good in living except those personal hours of meditation. Something has told me it can work. Those of you who practice the path of the Guru with love and devotion, have received his blessing. Greetings to you. But those who are still half way, they should make today a decision. Let us do it for 40 days. If it doesn't suit you, then leave it. That's how I started. Purpose of meditation is prosperity here and hearafter!"- Siri Singh Sahib ji, August 26th, 1988Want to do a meditation? Here is one of my favorites that I have been doing for a long time. I like silent meditations that use the breath and mantra. One to check out some other options? Here are some more links: If you try a meditation out let me know what you think and what kind of experience you have!
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Shakti Parwha Kaur is writing a book about marriage and is collecting info from married people. She had lots of women who wrote material, but nothing from men, so I decided to take a stab at listing my advice and experiences to having a successfull marriage (in up to 700 words). 
