Meditations on Forgiveness

by Ek Ong Kaar Kaur Khalsa

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh

Fair warning: for those who are used to reading about Sikh-related stories, this is more of a rambling, inter-faith, Piscean-Aquarian kind of piece. But my prayer is that the Guru always guides what I write – no matter what it’s about. So I hope you enjoy it.

Today, I was at Ralph’s Locksmith getting duplicates for the keys of my (finally-oh-my-god-I’ve-purchased at age 37) home. Like many family-owned businesses in Espanola – in a small case tucked into the side of the store were some Catholic paintings and statues. I grew up Catholic. It’s home base for my spiritual searching. When I was 7 years old, I used to get up early and go listen to mass at the chapel next to the school yard before going to school in the morning. Some people thought I was crazy. Other people thought I would grow up to be a saint. None of them were right- I think my soul just had a longing – even at that young age – for a connection to something deeper. Something more real than the life I saw around me.

God and Jesus were cool. It was the nuns that I had problems with. Especially the ones who told me that Jesus was the only way to God. I never believed them. Finally, in the sixth grade, one nun got so mad at me for not believing that she told me I was going to hell. There’s nothing that’ll put you off following a religion faster than being told that you’re going to hell. So in the sixth grade, I started studying other paths. When all of my feminine peers were beginning to notice boys, I was noticing the Dao de Jing and the Kabbalah.